One Hopeful Summer

May. Summer of '07. It was around 11 in the evening. Few people were walking on the street, some were rushing on their way back home. Some were walking sluggishly like they're sick and tired of being alone that all they wanted was to tire themselves from walking. Some were just chatting alongside. On the other part of the street I could hear resonance of laughter from a group of friends having fun with their drinking session.

I was on my way home. It was already beyond my curfew but I was still hoping that someone good enough would open the door for me. I was from a party with some new friends. I was having fun then that I forgot about my curfew. We parted ways. I just remembered about my curfew when my party friends were already gone and I was already walking alone.

I arrived home. And for some unfortunate reason, nobody even dared to check if someone outside needed an open door. My phone's battery was dead. I couldn't text my younger sister who was still probably awake and studying on that time. My closest friends were not in town anymore just so that I could knock on their doors and ask them if I could sleep with them. Good thing I still had money. I went to the internet cafe. I was planning to sleep there until 7 am.

I surfed the net. I chatted. "Care for a chat?" Hmmm... someone seemed to be interested or guess, bored. We chatted for a while. He said that he was bored indeed and he didn't want to go home yet. He asked what was keeping me online. I told him that i just didn't have a place to sleep at. We talked until past 12 midnight when he offered his place to me.

Yeah. I knew I was supposed to say no as he was a stranger. I wasn't sure if he was a gay serial killer or a theft. I didn't care. He was also a fresh graduate like me from one of Davao's top nursing schools. I liked our conversation. For me, he was cool. Aside from that, I think he was a blessing in desguise as I really needed a bed for a comfortable sleep. So I took the risk of meeting him somewhere. I waited. I was a bit apprehensive as I didn't have a cellphone so that I could tell him that I was already there as agreed upon. He might not show up. He might be waiting somewhere else. After a little while, a guy in a tee, shorts and cap came. I was sure that it was him as he gave me his online picture. He smiled. He recognized me. I also gave him mine.

"Asa pa man gud ka namiga" he said. In tagalog, "San ka pa kasi gumala" (not sure but I think that's a more appropriate translation). I answered him with a smirk. And then we continued talking while going to the direction of his place. We talked about school stuff, our graduation, ambitions, family and a lot more.

We arrived at his place. He prepared the bed for both of us. His room was a single bed room. Beside it was his study table with couple of nursing books carefully piled. He's an obsessive compulsive. Very clean. His room smells like a rubbing alcohol. He was so orderly that I was even ashame putting my shoes below his study table. He transferred it to where his shoerack was located.

He let me used his towel that smelled like still fresh from the laundryshop. After bathing, I saw him already lying and smiling. He then gave me his sando shirt and shorts. We talked again about whatever came in our head and the rest is history.

The next day... Sunday. We woke up late. We took our brunch in a turo-turo at the corner of the street. My heart smiled for a hope that that could be start of a romantic relationship that I was longing for. We parted ways. I grinned hoping that there would be a next meeting.

Days. Weeks. Months and a year passed. And then I realized that he could never have a romantic relationship with me.