An Open Letter To My Soul Mate

Dear X,

You might not know this but I always consider you as my soul mate. I don't know if you feel the same way for me. I think being a soul mate doesn't have to do with compatibility in terms of taste, personality and all that. I think it comes with the fact that I'VE MET YOU in the vastness of life. Of all the people that I could possibly meet, I really wonder why God puts me in your hands. You've been my partner since I came to a place strange to me.  We always fight like kids but we always make up for it. And at the end of the day, we always find ourselves talking as if nothing happened. We share a lot of ups and downs, happy and boring moments. We starve together. We lavish ourselves with food come first few days after the salary. We share our thoughts together, ridicule people and everything. You really made life easier for me here. And it would never be the same without you.

I saw you in your worst you. Though you told me that I left you on your worst, but to tell you, I didn't. Instead, I loved you more. I showed you my worst too. I hate to ask if I turned you off. You might say yes and I don't like that. It might justify your coldness to me before. But I think you were just thinking a lot that time. But then again, I know, you've accepted me. You won't be here with me today. You could've totally left and remain indifferent. But you stayed. As a friend. But, thanks for that. You always tell me you don't care. But swear, I can feel your care. You don't want me to be laughed at that's why you asked me one day that I have to act formally in a crowd. You left me some food for me to eat for breakfast when I came home late one day because I had to go somewhere else. If you didn't care, you would've not included me in your menu, you would've not lended me some money when I was so broke that I couldn't even buy just a single food for a meal, and you could've let me do whatever I wanted to do and let people laugh at me, among others.

I really didn't realize that such a moment would come for both of us. A friend just texted me saying if I could join him to a party. I didn't text back as an affirmation that I was not interested. You saw it and you did the honor of replying to him telling him that we would be coming. Then the party came. I was so excited as it would be our first party here in the strange place. The day came and you told me that you were not going anymore. I felt a little bit hurt especially that it was you who confirmed the party to my friend and thinking about the fact that I wouldn't be with you for the night. I took a bath, feeling resentful, went back to the room to fix myself and then I asked again with my fingers crossed if you wouldn't really be coming. You changed your mind. You're always like that. But I was so happy. You came with me and unfortunately, I disappointed you for the nth time. You told me a lot of times to text my friend for the exact location so that we wouldn't be lost. I didn't do that. And the taxi lost us. I paid almost 200 before we finally arrived. And I didn't plan of asking you for your part of it. That scared me because I really don't want to disappoint you. I want to be the best partner that you could ever have.

There I saw my friend. We went inside, we danced and drank. I saw familiar faces from college and gym. I went to the washroom, kind of dizzy, went back to where you were but I didn't see you there. My friend told me that you went out to smoke. I went outside but I didn't see your face there. I thought you went ahead without even informing me. I thought you were already with somebody else and flirting. I got your text saying that you just went out. I replied saying that I couldn't find you there. You replied back for your exact location. And there you were. I was so happy that I found your face. You were sitting in front of a red car. Waiting.

You told me you're not feeling good and that the place seemed to be not the right place for you. You told me you were hungry and I was too. So we went to a barbecue place and ate our very early breakfast there. It was already 3 am. We still have to wake up the next morning for another appointment. So we ate our early meal, while eating we talked about our family, our dreams, anger, frustrations and a lot more. We finished eating and decided to go ahead. We decided to walk going to where we could possibly take a ride.

And we walked the long and winding road of an Avenue going to another Avenue. That's miles and miles away from each point. The streets that we passed by were empty, haunted as only few streetlights were there that would make the roads that we were taking a bit visible to walk at. I felt so secured. Though I know you can't fight back if someone would hold us up or what but I know you will do all means just to protect me. Five minutes. 10 minutes. We're still walking. We're still talking (well, we always are). Then it rained. You offerred your jacket. You just don't have any idea how thankful I was for that night. I didn't feel jaded. I felt more and more lively and foremost in love. You don't have any idea how much I treasure that moment and the other moments that we had. My heart smiled and jumped. If I could only freeze that moment.

The best that I can do as of yet is cherish this feeling that I have for you. This may not be reciprocated, we may not end up together. One thing that I am always sure of is that, you always make up my day for some reason. I might be always hurt by the fact that you're not anymore mine and you think of hitting on somebody else but I'm always thankful that you're always there at my side the moment I need you the most.

Thanks for all the things that you've done to me. I've learned a lot from the relationship that we had. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MY FRIEND.

Thanks...

Kit