My Shell: Where I Keep On Ranting

Rant # 36: Hate Shoulder Pains!!!

2009-01-19T16:24:00.002+08:00

There are a lot of things that I need to do lately:

1. Study for my International Trade Center's Certification Exam (unfortunately, I'm still trying to finish reading the 3rd unit of Module 2 and I still have to study 2 more modules);

2. Workout to the nth level (I want to see my abs formed before summer);

3. I want to work no problem

But the thing is, I have cough, colds and shoulder pains.

- I can't study
- I can't workout
- I can't work well

I WANT THEM OUT OF MY SYSTEM!!! They're causing me a lot of STRESS!!!

Posting Another Sexy Pic of Mine

2008-12-24T10:17:00.002+08:00

FHM - December Issue

Happy Holidays!!!

2008-12-24T09:02:00.002+08:00

Just wanna greet everybody a Merry Christmas and New Year!!! 'Tis the season to be Jolly!!! La la la lala... lala la la.

Rant # 35: Sad... So Sad...

2008-11-18T00:00:00.003+08:00

I feel so sad. This was the same feeling I had when I knew that my cousin would leave us for good. This was the feeling I had when I knew I would be graduating and I had to live on my own, away from my closest college friends. This was the feeling I felt when I had to move out from Davao for an opportunity here in Manila. This was the same feeling I had when I was dropped off, when I was left by a person I thought I could have as an intimate partner.

My heart is cold. So cold like ice. Its coldness hurts.

A lot of things are causing me this pain...

...when he said BASTOS KO BECAUSE NAGA MEDDLE KO SA IYAHANG PRIVATE LIFE.

What did I say and do? He just talked about the weird dreams he had. He said na he dreamed about his father. And just for a comment, I said siguro it might be because your mom told you something about your dad before you slept.

Tell me!!! Where is meddling on that? What is bad about what I said?

Sad thing is, he didn't even bother to say sorry for that. Or he's not just used to saying sorry. Is he raised like that? All I can do is sigh as I irritatingly watch him so happy hurting me like this. Grrr...

... when I heard the MABABAHONG UNEDUCATED MASANG ORCS (thanks to cofibean for the word) whistling to a decent gay like me as if I'm a prostitute or something.

Basta!!! I hate them. Actually, sila nalang siguro ang natitirang nag dedescriminate sa mga gays dito sa mundo minus the conservatives who are trying to understand us naman din unlike those MABABAHONG UNEDUCATED MASANG ORCS. I should understand, they are not educated. They are hungry that the least that they could do is bully the gays. Grrrr...

...when I think about the fact na I won't be with my colleagues na because all of us will be transferred to a different department.

AND WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY RANTING A LOT AND NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE!!! HAHAHAHAHA...

Hahai. (sigh) When will I be able to do away with this feeling? Siguro when I'll die. Because I believe, as long as we remain to be social beings with different personality disorders (and I mean it) we will always feel sadness.

Let Me Post This Sexy Pic Of Mine

2008-11-08T01:59:00.003+08:00

FHM - November Issue
:D

This was taken at Fort Santiago, Intramuros Manila.

Rant # 34: Do You Really Have To Shout?

2008-11-05T04:48:00.002+08:00

If you can't hear what I'm saying, why do you have to shout at me like you're so irritated? You can just say "I can't hear you" in a nice manner and I can just speak louder just so that you'll be able to hear what I'm saying. That sounds better. That makes life for both of us so ok.

I don't know if you're raised like that or you're just simply irritated at me that even if I'm not doing anything grave against you, you will get soooo angry to the extent of shouting.

I don't know why I still love you amidst the fact that you're now hating me and you're not anymore wanting me in your life. I know I've been a burden. As in, BURDEN. For one because, I'm financially and emotionally dependent on you as of the moment. Don't worry, time will come. I'll be able to move on. Come the next week, I won't anymore be your burden in all aspect. I will try my very best to move on and be someone that I was prior to meeting, knowing and loving you.

But then again, I don't see a point of you shouting at me.

Rant # 34: Weblogging, As A New Form Of Journalism

2008-10-30T23:46:00.007+08:00

With the advent of computer technology is the emergence of Internet. This allows people to connect with one another regardless of distance. That and the creation of the World Wide Web browsers in 1990’s certainly transformed Internet from a mere communication tool into a certifiably revolutionary technology (Kotler and Amstrong, 2004).

As reported, in the final decade of the twentieth century, Internet users worldwide grew to almost 400 million. And in 2003, web surfers worldwide reached 533 million and is expected to approach 1.5 billion by 2007. Researches say that the growth of internet access among the world citizens will still continue to explode (Kotler and Armstrong, 2004).

The influx of Internet and Internet users allows the divergence of different media. Print media outfits like Philippine Daily Inquirer has already published their own website, with it are news or features that can also be read in the news paper. Television networks like ABS-CBN have come up with their own interactive website too. With that, we can say that this has caused revolution to mass media especially in the field of journalism with the popularization of the so called web logging. John Gallo of Northwestern University noted that web logging has made journalism more democratic and helps demystify the craft by exposing the wizard behind the curtain of the media establishment (http://blog.lib.umn.edu/blogosphere/weblog_journalism.html).

Web log or blog is a website where regular entries are made (http://www.wikipedia.com/). Here, one can publish a commentary or a story like news, feature or anything about something without necessarily undergoing a process of editing from a specific structure. As long as one knows how to use the internet, has access to it and story to tell, no matter what background one has, whether he/she is a journalist by profession or not, one can publish a story and will have it viewed by the public.

Here in the Philippines, the PCIJ or Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism hosted one of the country’s successful blog sites. As Pabico commented in Rojales’ Report, “At one point, we were registering 356, 000 visitors, 8 million hits, 3 million page views, and 822 gigabytes of data transfer!” (www.itworldcanada.com/a/enterprise-infrastucture/94b4580a-11be-4794-8aa4-2d402f8797a3.html)

Taking the definition of Journalism by Moyes and White (1978), Journalism is the collection, writing, editing, and dissemination of news material. Its impact in society is of so critical a nature that it has become a factor in the formulation of public policy. It is, as well, a barometer of public attitude, a consideration of importance in assessing social change – which in turn stimulated a wide range of new activities, new attitudes, new methods, and new ideas in a profession that had demonstrable need of them (Hohenberg, 1978).

The nature of blogging as against blogging as the new kind of Journalism has been a popular debate at this time.

John Gallo’s article said that “a second line of criticism central to the discussion of Weblogs stems from the lack of transparency of media organizations and from the unidirectional flow of information from reporter to recipient. The perceived lack of transparency coupled with the criticism of media integration, leads to the charge that news and opinions are shaped or even manufactured as infotainment before being disseminated to the wider public” (www.itworldcanada.com/a/enterprise-infrastucture/94b4580a-11be-4794-8aa4-2d402f8797a3.html) thus the contention of it being a form of communication does not hold true.

Brian Carroll of Berry College on the other hand said that “blogging and journalism do not have to be dichotomous; the two divergent schemas for understanding ethos do not have to be mutually exclusive, particularly in a convergent media environment where, ironically, most of news websites, including those by broadcast media, are presented using the rhetoric and metaphor of print newspapers” (www.blog.lib.umn.edu/blogosphere.com) contending that it can at some point be considered as journalism.

Whatever reasons they may have, the main question regarding the debate as to whether or not Weblogging can be considered as a new form of journalism is: Can it still be qualified as such given that information being fed do not undergo a process of selection like traditional journalism does? This primarily questions the quality of the article both types of Journalistic media produce.

Rant # 33: A Weekend In Manila

2008-10-30T03:57:00.016+08:00

Welcome to Manila - the country's capital city.

It was Jean's last week with the team as she was scheduled to transfer to some other department come the next week. So we went all the way to Manila as a farewell stuff for her and for us to unwind and bond as well. After all, we still had the Manila Ocean Park tickets that were given 3 months ago. They were given because we were not able to join the company's anniversary party held on the same place.

I was so excited as that would be my first step on Manila proper. I heard a lot of things about Manila. And the things that I heard about the city actually scared me. That's why for almost more than five months of my stay here, I just went there once and that was last week. One thing that scared me going there is the fact that, comparing to the other cities located within the metro, they said that it's the city with the highest number of crime rates in all kinds.

But we went there. October 24, 2008. Sunday. Meeting place: Ayala Station, 9:00 am (though some came at around 10:00 am - filipino time). Below is the list of places that we visited.

1. Luneta
2. Manila Ocean Park
3. SM City Manila (for our lunch)
4. Intramuros
5. Fort Santiago

We went home around 5:00 pm. And the grand finale was indeed a blast. And I mean, a blast. We went to a Chowking branch near MRT station for dinner. We were supposed to order when people outside were already in panic, rushing and running all their way to the exit. We panicked as well that we didn't know if we were gonna go inside or run outside with the stampede. As we didn't know why they're running. We were able to get out. And then we knew, that a tank from Mang Inasal's kitchen exploded.

Thank God we arrived home safe and sound. My Manila invasion was indeed one weekend to remember.

Rant # 32: At The End of The Tunnel

2008-10-28T00:22:00.004+08:00

Is the monstrosity of men...

You can see not a gold that we can pleasantly look at but GARBAGES (a lot of them!) that we can't only dare to look at but smell to as well.

They call the place TULAY. It's located somewhere in C5 just within Taguig. We can always pass that place via a PUJ going to the beautiful Global City. The fly over or as they call it, TULAY, is a bit old already. It's a very ghasly place populated by noisy rugged jeepney barkers. That would be ok. But once you pass by that point and reach the end of the TULAY, you will see the garbages that I've talked about. They are located just at side corner of the street. They are there, freely lying, and smiling to everybody. As advised, you should not wear your perfume when you know you're gonna pass this side of the place. For one sure thing, you will lost all the perfume that you put! You will smell like TRASH! To save you from wasting your perfume, put it after you pass by TULAY.

I wonder why people put all their garbages there? The government, if there's indeed an existing concerned government in that place, should have bought them big trash bins so that they can just throw their trashes there instead of putting them everywhere. I don't think it'll cost them a lot! They can even buy luxury cars for themselves. I can't really comprehend why a progressive city like Taguig couldn't follow proper waste disposal management. They all have the access to everything like education and all that. I believe, they're earning a lot of revenues as compared to the other city like Bohol but managed to maintain the cleanliness of their place. So there's no enough reason for them not to do good in terms of waste disposal. Davao has been consistent with their waste management program. It's really something that I'm proud of!

People and the government I think just need to have the so called discipline! It's sad that outside a very beautiful place like Global City is an ugly city of Taguig. They should do something about it. An intensive policy against littering should be implemented. If it means a lifetime imprisonment for someone who caught throwing garbage somewhere else, then so be it. Let's give them that punishment that they deserve.

I just can't anymore take the ODOR!!! I don't anymore have a respect not only to the place but to the people and the government who live just where the place called TULAY is located. Or to be specific, to that end of the tunner where you can see not a treasure but a TRASH! Not unless they're gonna follow a simple proper waste management, will I be proud of having a place like Taguig or TULAY here in the Philippines. As of now, sorry but... it's a shame.

OH HOLY NIGHT -- Filipina Version

2008-10-25T01:26:00.002+08:00

Showcasing Philippine Singers who was able to sing OH HOLY NIGHT. Who do you think sang the best one?

a.) Regine Velasquez

b.) Lani Misalucha

c.) Kyla

d.) Jonalyn Viray

OH HOLY NIGHT -- Battle of the Divas

2008-10-24T02:11:00.004+08:00

So who sang the best OH HOLY NIGHT?

a.) Mariah Carey

b.) Celine Dion

c.) Carrie Underwood

d.) Christina Aguilera

e.) Kelly Clarkson

f.) Jessica Simpson

g.) Avril Lavigne

h.) Whitney Houston

i.) Jewel

Rant # 31: The Weekend Spree At Puerto Galera

2008-10-21T04:33:00.018+08:00

It's not located in Palawan!

When I texted my mom that I was in Puerto Galera she asked me why in the world did I fly all the way to Palawan? She then went ahead in lecturing me about the importance of saving for my future and whatnots over spending leisure like going to places like Galera.

My mom thought that I spent 10k for my trip to Puerto Galera. Yeah, she can be right if that's located in Palawan. Hahaha...

But no. I just spent like 2k for that trip. Somehow affordable yet memorable. Worth it!

My mom and the Puerto Galera conception reminded me of a debate I had with a friend way bafore I came here in Manila. It was about where PUerto Galera was actually located. I was so sure then about my thought that Puerto Galera is really located in Palawan. My classmate was already fiery and on his wits end trying to convince me that it's located somewhere else.

And I was ashamed to realize that my friend, who with all humility accepted my contention to make life easier for him, was right.

Puerto Galera is located at the far east corner of Mindoro. With its white beaches, palatable food and really warm people, one could not afford to think about going back home. The country-side experience, morning breeze, sea tide and the whole relaxing feeling would hinder you from feeling so heavy and tired. It's a very good venue for relaxation, weekend spree and making friends with the other bakasyonistas indeed.

I went there with my colleagues. We were so stressed the past days from all our emotional churvas in life and so we decided to go there, relax, forget about our probs and enjoy our moment with each other. I really had fun especially that it's my first time to be in a beautiful beach like Puerto Galera. The first time that I was able to party in the beach. Davao beaches don't have a party and party people like that in Puerto Galera.

Food was great. Though they serve a meal that cost us like a hundred pesos but it's worth the price. You can feel that the food is keenly cooked and that the ingredients that they used were really fresh. What we ate there was a real food. NOt a synthetic or artificial one that I usually eat here in Manila. I didn't care about my diet and my gym. All I was thinking was satisfying my mouth and my tummy with the fresh and really palatable food served beside the sea.

What fun would I have if I wasn't with my friends. Of course, they made my stay there more memorable. we laughed about anything and discussed about everything while soaking outselves in the cold, crystal clear, bottle-and-candy-wrapper-and-human-manure free sea water.

Aside from swimming on the beach, you can also brace yourselves with the exciting Banana Boat Riding. You will be amazed as well with the beauty of the underwater through Snorkeling. If you don't feel like doing those, you can go Island Hopping. After going through strenuous activities, you can pamper yourself with THE Manangs' massage ang braiding services. To feel a real beach experience is not so complete without a temporary tattoo that will help you look sexier with your two piece bathing suit or board shorts. You can have a henna tattoo for as low as a hundred, depending on the style that you want. That and a lot more.Next destination... Baguio. LOOKING FORWARD FOR THAT!

Rant # 30: Peste!!!

2008-10-17T01:51:00.004+08:00

I found this in my FRIENDSTER BLOG. I wrote this when I was in college. I think I was so mad with a groupmate that time. I can still remember who the person I am referring to in the blog was but I already forgot the reason why I hated her that much.

--------------------------

GRRRRRR… 100x

This is what I wanted to say to them:

If you think you’re working then so be it. I am working too. You can’t say all the things done can completely be attributed to your work because for one, all of us exerted effort over it. I haven’t been able to sleep too just to research for resources for us to be able to understand the subject we’re supposeD to do. Don’t count what you’ve done coz that might turn back against you. What have you done anyway? BUY MATERIALS THERE AT UYANGUREN? I CAN DO THAT!!! IF YOU THINK IT’S BEYOND YOUR CAPACITY AND THAT IT REALLY IS A BIG DEAL FOR YOU, THEN YOU SHOULD’VE TOLD ME COZ I’LL BE SO MUCH WILLING TO DO THAT INSTEAD. YOU SAID, YOU’RE HERE IN SCHOOL AS EARLY AS 10:00. TO TELL YOU, I’M HERE AS EARLY AS 6:43 IN THE MORNING. AND BESIDES, YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE THAT AGAINST US BECAUSE TO BEGIN WITH, THE PLAN IS CLEAR: WE WILL BE MEETING AT 1 PM. AND DON’T THINK YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WORK EVER. IF YOU’LL TRY TO LOOK AT YOUR WORK THEY’RE REALLY TRASHY. I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YOU THROWING ON SIDE COMMENTS AGAINST ANYBODY. WHAT I CAN’T ACCEPT IS THE FACT THAT YOU GET ANGRY IF ONE WILL DO THAT TO YOU. DO NOT DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT OTHERS DO UNTO YOU. I APPRECIATE YOUR BEING AUTHORITATIVE BUT I GUESS IT’S ALREADY TOO MUCH. MUCH AIR IS GETTING IN YOUR BRAINS NOW. THAT’S NOT GOOD. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING THE SAME THING.

SECOND, I WON’T ASK FOR APOLOGY TO SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW IN THE FIRST PLACE I’VE COMMITTED. IF YOU THINK IT’S OKRAY THEN THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK. YOU’RE SOOO NARROW MINDED THAT YOU CAN’T TAKE JOKES AND CAN’T DIFFERENTIATE ONE FROM OKRAY. IF PEOPLE WILL BE ASKED IF IT’S OKRAY OR WHAT-HAVE-YOU, THEY MIGHT PROBABLY ANSWER IT’S NOT. IT WAS JUST A COMMNENT AND A SILLY COMMENT FOR THAT MATTER. ONLY SILLY PEOPLE WILL TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY. SECOND, I DON’T THINK IT’S INAPPROPRIATE FOR AN EDUCATED LADY OR COLEGIALA OR ELITE FOR THAT, TO ANSWER A QUESTION SARCASTICALLY IF IT’S ASKED IN A NICE MANNER. YOUR TEACHER MIGHT HAVE TAUGHT YOU PROPER MANNER AND CONDUCT. WE WERE NOT TAUGHT ABOUT IT IN ELEMENTARY BUT I KNOW. EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT EVEN THE MOST ILLITERATE PERSON LIVING. I DON’T WANT CHAOS. I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANY LONGER. AND IF IT CALLS FOR ME TO RESPOND TO IT THEN I WILL.

I MIGHT NOT BE AS INTELLIGENT AS (YOU THINK) YOU ARE. BUT I HAVE THE DETERMINATION TO EXTEND MY HELP AS MUCH AS I CAN. IF YOU DON’T NEED ME THEN BETTER TELL IT DIRECTLY TO ME. I’LL BE SO MUCH WILLING TO GO THAN CAUSE YOU HEADACHE.

HONESTLY… THIS IS WHAT I FEEL:

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW, TIME WILL COME: WHAT YOU’RE DOING WILL TURN BACK TO YOU AND WHEN THAT TIME COMES, THAT WILL BE A HUNDRED TIMES WORST THAN WHAT YOU DID.

MIND IT.

Rant # 29: BWIZEEETTT!!!

2008-10-15T00:50:00.004+08:00

Bwizet!!!

I really can't understand why he's doing this to me! And i can't understand why I keep on insisting myself to him. As what I've been ranting here, I can't see any reason why I thought he's worth all my effort. He's not supposed to be loved. Player siya! Bakla siya! Bwizet! Siya na ang pina ka pamati nga tao nga akong nailhan (plus my highschool classmate and someone else na basta). BAYOT GYUD!

I really wonder why I still love him and I still care for him even if he's not doing the same thing back to me. I'm really confused. Libog siya. Sometimes he makes me feel na he still has a thing for me pero sometimes pud wala. CHAKA siya! Makalagot! Kung naay pinaka walay klaro nga tao in this world, I think siya na! SIYA NAG ANG PINAKA WALAY KLARO NGA TAO!!! Kadtong ex nako before though player sya, but he didn't make everything so hard for me. He told me directly, the moment he ended our relationship up, na we're done. Na wala na siyay feeling for me. Na naa na siyay lahi and he has given up playing with me coz he has gotten what he wanted na for me. Ang isa, WALA. wala. wala. gina ingon pa niya na I'm ok pero ambot oi. Na HE STILL LOVES ME even though he can never be my boyfriend. Wala na ko kasabot!!!!!!!! BWIZET NGA BAYOT! BWIZET!

Rant # 29: A Sweet Reply

2008-10-11T00:48:00.001+08:00

you know what? this is all i can say... FUCK
YOU!!! How dare you talking to me that way? it's
as if you've known me for so long yet in fact
we've just known each other for quite some
time...
anyway, you know what's the problem with you?
you're so OA!!! as in overreactive!!! i really
didn't do anything that BAD... what have i done?
i just gave your number to somebody who's so
kulit... and so what? you feel like pinagtabuyan?
my gosh!!! it wasn't really my intention but you
preempted me... so fine...
and one thing... pinaasa ba kita? hello... did i
read it right? ano pala pinagsasabi ko sayo dati?
meron ba? sorry ha... but i can't remember myself
saying something na nagpaasa sayo. if what you
mean is our relationship to work for a longer
period of time then, it was you who called it
off. it wasn't me. so it was you who created your
own nightmare. and akala ko ba you're open to all
possibilities? you should've readied yourself to
the possibility na hindi talaga tayo magtatagal
given that we're not obvioulsy meant for each
other as mandated and sa chat lang tayo
nagkakilala.
speaking og RICKY, congrats!!! di sana naging
kayo kung di dahil sa kin. hope your relationship
with him will last long. mabait talaga yon that's
why when he asked your number to me, though i had
doubt if i would give it, pero since he's my
friend and that i believe hindi ka niya aagawin
sa akin, so binigay ko. but again, you put some
dirty color to what i did. and again, fine.
and speaking about that love love stuff... i
don't believe that it was really love. as far as
i know, love is not jealous... it is kind... it
doesn't hold grudge... doesn't preempt... and it
accepts... but what you showed me said it's far
to be called as love... true indeed that you're
kind but you hold grudge, you preempt and all...
to be honest too, i didn't love you. i was trying
to love you then... it was somehow developed but
it was prevented... and thanks... nakakasakal
ka!!!
if di ako that beautiful then... bakit ka
nakipagrelasyon sa kin? and... i don't care kung
ano tingin mo sa kin... if im beautful or not...
wala akong pakialam... bakit ikaw? you're not
that good looking too... and one thing, hindi ako
nagyayabang... im just being true to myself as
what you want me to be. BAHALA KA!!!
punta ka nalang sa mga friends mo and your
family... they know what's the best for you...
siguro nga, kaya di ka nagkakaroon ng mga
magagandang relationship is because, di rin
maganda ang relationship mo with your family and
friends. it reflects. fix yourself first...
and sorry to tell this, DI AKO TAKOT SA KARMA! I
already conditioned myself to that thing... sana
ikaw na condition na rin... i was also being hurt
for times na before and siguro turn ko na ngayon
para manakit... hehehe... you know what i did
when that happened to me? i turned to my friends
and family... and i was just lucky to have such a
wonderful circle of friends and family kasi they
didn't turn their back the moment i needed them
the most.
bye...

---

Hahahaha... I can't believe I said this. A LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FOR THIS!!!

Rant # 28: A Rant of A Bitter X! Hahaha

2008-10-09T22:55:00.003+08:00

kapal din ng mukha mo! ur posting ur honest and
yet your not bein true to yourself as what i
often tell you, "HOpe that what youve done to me
will not haunt you back coz its very painful.
oh nice to hear ur the one who recovered after
you dumped me!in fact i knew ur already meeting
with others, f u found me unworthy then, i didnt
you tell me str8. nagpaasa ka pa! tapos u wanted
to work things out only at your own advantange.
Buti nlang mabait ung nakakuha nga # ko.Ricky
ryt? and he has tot me lots of things that
distance is not a hindrance to make life worth
living, coz with him. i got reason to celebrate
love and freindship.
i would also be hypocrite f il lie that i havent
love you but with what uve dan,such affection has
turned into anger and disgust among judgemental
gays like you. i know m nt that gud looking kit
but wag ka ring ,magyabang. d ka naman ganyan ka
kagandahan.
m not saying this not bcoz galit ako but 4 u to
realize that the world s round, cguro tym mo pa
ngaun but jst prepare urself when the world taKES
ITS TURN AT MY ADVANTAGE. HA...
till then. gudbye!!!
b4 i forgot, as u knew jologs ako sa computer
wud u help me voluntarily widraw ur pic at my
friendster, just to get rid of u! dnt want o be
reminded with the devil in u!pls help me delete
ur pic in my friendster, ha. tanx a lot

Sent: 05/15/2004 11:36 am
--------

Another Ex (the first one unfortunately) sent this to me via Friendster when I broke up with him. Hahaha... I didn't realize I played as well... Karma ba to? It's not edited.

Another Text Message

2008-10-09T04:21:00.002+08:00

For those who are:

IN LOVE WITH COUPLE

It's not all about the good times but also it's on how you face the bad times together. Stay in love and take care of each other.

STILL IN LOVE WITH AN X

If there's still a chance and it's worth fighting for, set aside your pride and make a move. If there's someone else involved, MOVE ON!

IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Trust each other, believe in the relationship that you have and keep the communication open.

CONFUSED

Happiness is the answer. Just do whatever will make you happy.

SINGLE

Don't rush things. You'll find it soon.

Sent to me by a high school barkada (Ivy)
She always sends me a lot of great messages like this

Rant # 27: What An X!

2008-10-08T01:57:00.005+08:00

I was supposed to do a survey about the common traits of what an ideal partner is for my friends when I wasn't able to proceed as I was struck to my ex's answer.

Here it goes:

x: ideal partner naku kai kanang naay sense kaistorya..cute ..then, he will treat me like a girl

- this just shows that my ex is the closet gay type of a partner who doesn't look so femme but wants to play the femme role. hahaha

x: wahahahahahahahahahaha
x: mao na na
x: wala man ko kabalo
x: basta

x: kanang kaya naku siya e-kiss without inhibitions
x: kanang ako ang mangulit ug hug

OK... aside from I don't have a sense, and I'm not super cute, he had a lot of inhibitions when we were kissing before and he didn't want me to hug him that he always turned his back away from me and change position every time I tried to hug him. I was really never an ideal partner. I felt that even before we started out that foolishness. But I was just so gullible that I gave in.

He really didn't love me. Our relationship was a product of his impulsive gayness. And knowing that, honestly, doesn't hurt me anymore. It might but just a bit. OK. That's because, and my spirit knows this, I still have a thing for him. A bit. Just a bit.

I don't care.

Let me sing Neyo's song: Please don't worry bout me I'm fine. Only gonna play the fool one time.

Jeessshh...

Rant # 26: Hahahahaha

2008-10-07T01:24:00.006+08:00

I was browsing Youtube.com when I remembered a video. A funny video. This was edited by my classmates in college. They made it on the peak of our SUPER HAGGARD MOMENTS - thesis, public relations projects, journalism, video editing and all that. This was our stress reliever. Our teacher pressured us with a lot of projects and requirements that time. They pressured us that they let us feel we were not supposed to graduate. During those times, we had with us this video that made us smile and feel better.

Mouthing on the video is Jed Ephan. He is a trusted gay friend.

Rant # 25: Tanga Tanga Tanga Tanga!!!

2008-10-02T00:09:00.004+08:00

Tanga /ta-'ngah/ noun:

1. Taong ayaw magka-bf pero nagrereklamong single.
2. Lalakeng mahilig mambabae tas nagugulat pa everytime ayaw pagkatiwalaan ng mga babae.
3. Ex mong iniwan ka for some reason then biglang magpaparamdam ulit after jurassic years.
4. Taong pilit na naghihintay sa taong wala namang balak dumating.
5. Babaeng ilang beses na niloko sa pareparehong dahilan pero di natututo.
6. Magjowang araw-araw nag-aaway pero hindi daw sila maghihiwalay.
7. Baklang nagbibigay ng cellphone, relo, damit at pera sa mga lalaking nagsasabing mahal sila kahit obvious namang hindi

----------

I just added the 7th item. On the original text message that I got, there were just 6 of them. Hehehe... Please come up with instances na example ng katangahan. You can put that via comment. Thanks!!!

Rant # 25: Healthy Investment

2008-10-01T05:24:00.006+08:00

Lest you think going to gyms, doing some exercise and buying food supplement are just waste of time, money and effort, think twice. There's actually no better investment than investing in our health and physical fitness. If knowledge has been known as a treasure that can't be stolen, so is health.

With poor health, we always feel so tired. We will never be productive in our work then. We cannot run and walk. We cannot stay so long at night to talk with friends, etc. We cannot enjoy life. If we still have even just a modicum of concern for our life then, we must always stay healthy.

And the best way to keep ourselves healthy? Going to doctors for check ups is not enough, eating healthy food alone and mere drinking medicines as well. What's more effective is to couple them with the so called exercise. Something we all know is helpful and healthy yet most of us have been taken for granted.

For some, it's tiring.

Interestingly, exercising in gyms whatnots has been actually gaining popularity here in the Philippines especially among students and young professionals. Aside from the fact that it will give some tone to their muscles and look fit, they frequent to gyms for the opportunity to socialize with other gym-goers as most of them would also say.

But don't you know that exercise, gym-going and the like gives more than just the opportunity to meet friends and socialize or lose or gain weight? Studies have shown that it can also be a means to relieve all the stresses and also allows us to get away with anxieties that, as we all know, might lead to a lot of serious diseases. As such, it gives us the propensity to increase our life expectancy.

Lifestyle here in the Philippines has been evolving to a lot more complicated. With companies and businesses proliferating in the country, people get to drown themselves with their work plus vices and other mental and emotional-stressing activities.

It's good to work so hard if it's really needed. But we have to understand that too much of it is bad as cliché goes. We have to give time for our physical fitness especially that we need our strengths and health at that, to be an efficient player in the corporate world. We cannot enjoy all those things we've worked hard for if we are already bedridden and what-have-you.

We've been investing our money, time and effort for material stuff like cars, outfits and the like. The question then is: do you think you've invested something sustainable? Or something that you can enjoy for the rest of your life? Perhaps. But then again, not. To enjoy all those investments is to remain healthy. As basic as it is. I know it's hard as it's tiring. But just be patient. And yes, patience is a virtue. Soon, it'll directly come back for your own benefit. Do not just invest in mind or material things or beauty... INVEST ON HEALTH. I must say, that's the wises investment we could really have.

Rant # 24: A Not-So-Ideal Person

2008-09-30T04:59:00.003+08:00

Is the person that I honestly fall in love with.

This is an ideal guy for me:

1. Chinito
2. White skinned
3. Smooth
4. Doesn't smoke
5. Drinks occassionally
6. Doesn't lie
7. Romantic/Sweet
8. Kinda serious
9. Cute
10. PERFECT!

Right now, I'm attached and ahmm... ok... should I say, In love (?) with someone who's

1. Almond eyed
2. Moreno
3. Rough
4. Smoker
5. Drinker
6. He hates this but I always tell him this - LIER!
7. Cold or should I say, coldest
8. Easy going
10. Definitely NOT CUTE
11. IMPERFECT!

But the thing is, I'm falling in love for that NOT-S0-IDEAL-PERSON. I get so attracted to him even though he's not at all attractive. Ahm... I don't know but being with him definitely makes my day complete. And though the NOT-SO-IDEAL-PERSON that I'm talking about is not anymore my BF (hmmm) but just being with him talking about nonsense stuff indeed makes my day.

Kilig. Yes. I regret conceding to the idea of giving off our relationship before. I should've understood him. But it doesn't matter though, I can still hug him and sleep and walk and dine with him even if we do not anymore call ourselves lovers.

Do we always fall for someone who's not our ideal? Does it always have to be like that? Or it's just that, LOVE JUST MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS? Hmmmm... (grin)

What People Say About Me

2008-09-26T03:26:00.010+08:00

It's good to listen to people talk about who you are. Through that, we get to know ourselves better as we realize the characteristics that we failed to see.

Below are the comments of my friends about me. I got them through friendster.com.

!They're not edited.

-----*000*-----

A MISSED FRIEND

Maya: 6/17/2008, 10:17 am

kittie pryde!!! thank u sa mga gud am msgs. nimu everyday. I love you kit! and I miss you. Sorry if I wasn't able to be there sa Mcdo the day before u left for Manila...aside from the heave rain that night, i just could not afford to face the truth that u are leaving...(sentimental that I am) take care and hasta see you!

Aicha: 4/7/2008, 8:53 pm

OMG... Kabalo ka Kit,nibalik ko sa school no kuha ko blue knights id tapos niagi ko ug samahan... Nagaexpect jud ko makit-an tika didto sa sulod, na werla sa thesis/project/assignment... hahah grabe na ni

Normelita: 8/30/2007, 10:12 am

si kit?i miss this person...he's the one of my close friends ever...take care always...God bless u always...

______________________________

THE ACADEMIC PERSON

Eeji: 3/17/2007, 9:40 pm

congrats miss-ter cum laude...

Apple: 3/14/2007, 1:30 pm

CERTIFIED FULLY PAID sa ELOAD

;p

Bubbly: 3/26/2007, 9:35 am

kw njud na kit...cumlaude,grabehhhhhhh.....u mde it!hehehehehe

Michelle: 03/20/2007, 3:05 pm

elow kittie!
congratz te...natinood jud na cum laude ka...hehe...division awardee pa jud...

well, God Bless You!

Joann: 3/19/2007, 6:14 pm

congrats cumlaude!!!

Rocel: 3/6/2007, 1:56 pm

mztah naman ang small but terribLe nga taga ateneo ui...
hay grabe long time no seeee na jd ui....
mizhu_mizhu na jd dadadadada.. luv yah...mwuahhh
hai humot na jd au ang Tuga...dadadda

____________________________

THE HAPPY FRIEND

Meema: 12/31/2006, 5:28 pm

oi kitloma!!!
haffiez new yer!...

la lng.testi lng.haha. happy ka???

hehe... hmm. happy bya q na fren tika.. btaw! tinuod...
hmm.. frens japon ta ha, khit mggradu8 na ta.. (hala! mggradw8 na ta!!yey!!!!)...

cg oi. tiwason sa nq take home exm nako sa PR.hehe.vavu.

mwah.

Joanne: 12/21/2006, 6:46 pm

yow!! shock ako sa primary photo mo madam!! nakakapanindig balahibo.. diyos ko.. maawa ka sa mga taong tumitingin sa account mo.. hahaha!! char lang..
si madam is my boyfriend/girlfriend.. hehehe.. in this very chaotic society, he's one of those who makes it more chaotic.. hahaha!! my companion wen no1s der 2 b with me... touch ako.. hehehe.. luv u madam (di lang halata) hehehe..
ui!! ang regalo ko mukhang abutin ata ng 2007 ah...

____________________________

THE DEBATER

karla: 11/20/2006, 8:57 pm

I've been talking about you
A lot with Lord
There was so much I wanted to say.

I told Him how great and caring you are
And how I treasure you more each day.

I tried to describe,
How just having you there,
Can make things more special and fun.

I told Him how thoughtful you are
To your friends,
And I thanked Him for making me one.

I told Him how I keep learning from you,
How your faith is inspiring to see.
Then I'd asked Him if He'd let you know how I feel,

He said you should hear it from me. :)

*I couldn't imagine MPDC without you. Luvya biatch! :)

Bam: 11/15/2006, 10:49 pm

Lord Kit the Terrible.

Aye. Aye! Lord Kit is one in a hundred million. Smart, witty, honest, and BEAUTIFUL! Inside out!

If every person is a glass of smoothie, Kit would be one of the most flavorful. Oozing with talent, goodness, and looove.^^

It is a great honor to cross roads with him. But it is MORE remarkable to know him and experience the "Lord Kit experience first-hand. ;)

ADC: 3/21/2006, 12:42 am

He's already one of the Best Adjudicators Mindanao ever had, and he's proving he's better in other fields as well.

Truly a cunning debater slowly unfolding.

Benedic: 3/13/2006, 7:35 pm

Ah Kit, my child. Although i am in unconditional protest against your indefinitely disgusting sexual escapades, one which shall rival that of a syphyllis-ridden, deranged, goat herder, I treasure you so. You are a loyal friend. You disgust me and this is why you are so precious to me.

Arnold Ian: 10/3/2005, 10:28 pm

Whether addressed as Lemuel, Kit, Lord Kit or simply Kitology. We understand that kit is a lethargic person, the kind where in youd want to go to mercury and buy him a bottle of incremin.hehe but no, beyond that seemingly weak and fragile faade kit is one of the most energetic cheerers I know (able to dance with any tune ). An avid fan of chatting and eyeballing! Able to dedicate a lot of time to it.

A royalty in the realm of Mindanao debating, known as Lord Kit the terrible he made the t-rex type of debating a popular hand gesture. A fabulous adjudicator! Currently the best in Mindanao.

Cress constant companion! A good, liberated, and confident person. An interesting friend and person.

Janna: 9/30/2005, 2:19 am

My very nice, cute and intelligent friend!! The best debater in ateneo de davao university... heheheh... o diba bongga!! A very loyal friend and thoughtfull.... we've been sending letters pa before in high school and been very good friends since then. We only met in one Domnet gathering and with God's grace, he had given me the best gift of friendship... I love you kit! i wish you to succeed in your career.. i kow how hard working you are and dedicated to education.. i'll always be here if you need help or just to fool around and find keks... hehehe... stay slim and pretty like me.. mmmwwwaahhh... God Bless

___________________________

A SWEET RELATIVE

Malone: 5/18/2005, 6:47 pm

i nvr
had

d
chance

2
say

thank u...

4
all
d
thngs
uv
done
4
me!
tnx
4 gvng
me
d best
:kuya: ( o ate?) hehehe...
i
cud evr
ask 4

& 1 last
thng

PAGPUYO intawon...!!!

Christine Joy: 8/8/2004, 8:42 pm

If ask ko hu my fave cousin is? don't
guess it becoz its obvious. this
talented, intillegent and down to earth
guy here would really make my day
complete. we were close since we were
kids though he's younger than me but I
can talk to him about anything about
life, politics, general knowledge and
of course amo fave topic our lovelife:)
seldom na kaau mi magkta but we
always
update each other sa mga current
events
sa amo lives as much as possible. we
share the same interest. but what I
really admire about him is his being
opinionated "just like me" we tell each
other on how we see things and what
we
feel about it. but we never quarrel
because we respect each other
differences. you can not persuade him
to do things if he doesn't feel good
about it, that's y I'm really proud of
him. we have a very memorable and
HAPPY
childhood together with the rest of the
family that I wouldn't trade-in for
anything else in this whole-wide-world.

__________________________

ETC ETC ETC...

Baby boy: 7/14/2006, 9:05 pm

How do I describe this guy?...actually he's alyways in vogue.There is never a dull moment with this prince,each moment is worth treasuring.

Behind his enchantingly magnifecent looks radiates an amiable heart and exudes genuine humility that never fails people to admire him.

Keep up the ggod works lemuel-ian

Kawaii: 5/1/2006, 8:43 pm

Lemuel Kit Loma --- the star in Ice Age who had been chasing forever his acorn... hehehe...
Kit is actually one of the students in MC3 -er 4 whom u can really rely on, Kit prospers in almost everything he does. although sometimes ,mutukar ang (according to Maam Daf) ang iyang pagkabalahura... hehehe...
Kit is simpy someone you can run into and then punch and push and kick - the way Ms. Cres Tan harasses him.
Kudos to everyone's KITTY! i love you, kit. so glad to know you.
Peace out.

mwah

Jay: 3/12/2005 3.58 pm

Mao na ang saying na mosulod sa
akong utok everytime I see this guy. He
gives everyone around him hope and
happiness.

He is truly a wonderful person, very
passionate in everything he does. He is
the type of person who is willing to go
the extra mile just to enlighten a person
in a state of despair. Selfless and
giving, he would willingly give his
everything for a love one.

He may be at times, a little annoying,
but he could still bring a smile into your
lips,eventhough your burning with rage
because of his personality. He could
handle any criticism that comes his
way,
whether it may be good or bad,
intelligent or down right stupid, he would
still deal with these remarks in his own
unique little way.

Some of those who know him may think
I am exaggerating or even lying, but the
truth is, the things I wrote may be the
near best description of Kit. Some
would disagree, some might even say
that I am talking o person that does not

Janna: 10/3/2004, 10:28 pm

ikaw na jud na dear!!! this person is
one of the best friends i have... a very
thoughtfull and loyal person. I can't
forget how often we write each other
letters before in high school... =) He has
the looks, skills, brians and heart... Your
really special dear! I love you kit! hope
to see you soon... God bless...

Charmaine: 9/16/2004, 11:24 am

am-Vis-yO-sAh >jOke<>> may h!dDen dEsYr
sa akng hunny. pero soweee hnggng
tngin knlng.. hehehe. d nman me
selosa.. u know?? soOo owkizt lng kng
mgpacute k sa knya.
eniwEiz piPoL!! 2ng c kit.. gnda lalakeh
sna kya lng doe noh wat hapEn 2 hIm..
peWo lingaw ni cYa lay livog..cge lng
pangita sa akong vana tpos cge lng mi
chika2 bout sa iYang wOnderfoOoL lyF
>bOnGga!!<>bOut??!<
bsta pPoL tRy 2 bfWen wit kitty kit..
niCe tLga tOng taOng tOh!!
cgE oi tiL hIr nLng mUna kY magdAte
pami sa imOng cRush na ASAWA nko!!
sTay sWeEt, pReTty aNd sExy owKay!!
c!ao.. c yah!!! =oP
padaYon sA pAg-uSwaG kiTty kIT!!!

Ivyjoce: 8/26/2004, 1:53 pm

hello Kit!thnx sa testi..1st,gs2 ko mg-
sorry sau sa lahat2..alam mo na kung
ano 2koy ko..
LEMUEL KIT..hmmm,alam nyo ba na
crush ko yan xa nung 1st yr hyhskul pa
kami..as in!!ewan ko ba kung bkit d nya
me nligawan,hehehe..btaw,we're
relatives kc..ska,frnds lng tlaga kmi..(=
intelligent,nice,friendly,responsible and
cute yang c KIT kya ko nga xa crush,
hehehe..MISS NA KTA!!

Paul: 4/12/2004, 4:30

Well, Kit and I have been friends for a
year now but it seems like I've known
him for a decade already. She's very
honest and open concerning his life to
me kasi. Kit is a bitch just like Jed
and I. But among us, she's the most
superb and superior. She has unbeatable
talents and skills when it comes to
HEKYA-HEKYA. Until now, she holds the
records of THE BITCHEST OF THE BITCHES.
Laban ka?Kidding aside, Kit is very
artistic and intelligent. She is also
very competitive and this is what I
like most about him. For the
information of all, Kit is the best
Prime Minister of the First Year and
Humanities Division. She was there when
we debated for the Ignatian Debate-
Quarter Finals. Talagang the three of
us (including Clariz) were terrific! I
like Kit a lot kasi she is true to
herself. And most of all, I like her
kasi she is HORNY all the time!
Hehehe... - Paul (karen_mykee@yahoo.com /
09187155719)

Asiaron: 3/22/2004, 12:33 pm

C kit? mahilig yan sa mga keki, ung mga
payat.Kit is very makakalimutin,olways
nga nyang nalilimutan ang mga gamit
nya,gaya ng celfon,payong at kung anu
ano pa............18f mawab, c kit yan
at mahilig makipag
EB.....heheheh.......Pero nakakabilib
din yan c kit pagdating sa academic ang
usapan....Matalino yan kaya idol ko yan
lalo na pagdating sa math!!!!Kit as a
fren: mabait yan sa mga friends nya,
she/he is a good
fren....................Luv u kitty!!!!
mamimiss kita.....

Lavenia: 2/22/2004, 2:52. pm

c kit....... oh my gosh!!!!! chilhood
friend ko yan!proud nga me sa kanya___!
kaya lang minsan makakalimutin__!but
matalino yan_!since kinder until
highschool honor yan__! but ngaun alam
ko matataas pa rin mga grades nyan__!
and u knw wat friendly yan xa_!az n__!
kaya nga mrmi yan siyang friend__!and
i'm so lucky na friend ko xa!!!!!kc
mabait__!humble___!understanding___!
tpos ang tangos p ng ilong niya____!
sobra__!

Jaijai: 2/16/2004, 3:35 pm

Kay kit...sobra nya akong pinahanga sa
determination nya sa studies.Though
medyo may mga ginagawa syang hindi
maganda di pa rin naman nagbago ang
tingin ko sa kanya bilang frend.I
understand naman e kung bakit sya
minsan ganyan...at least kahit papaano
kaya pa rin nyang ibalance ang mga
priorities nya.
Pero yang c kit,sya yung tipo na hindi
kaagad-agad nagigive-up kaya nga bilib
ako dyan.Mabait?sobra...napaka-
understanding na tao at napakasweet.
DI BA KIT?...:)

Lorie Jhell: 2/14/2004, 4:28 pm

Kit? SIYA NA JUD!
I really hated this creature before,
pa-virgin effect kasi!
Pero he's nice pala. He is so
oppinionated but sumtimes he's so non
sense.heeehehehe...

Kahlil: 1/17/2004, 8:07 pm

INTRODUCING!!!! (drum roll)... GAYBITCH
of section 1T1, 2003!!!! (no applause
please)... sobra na itech... si Kit
gwapa (daw)... cute (daw)... itsuraan
(daw)... tanga (gyud!! mao lagi ba, ang
cellphone ibutang lang sa bulsa para
dili mawala...thanks to Paul for
teaching this dumdum a lesson..) kung
perfectionism ang pag-uusapan, si kit
ang takbuhan! gusto nya lahat goes her
way!... his way!.... watever.. way!
galit yan si kit sa akin kasi palagi
kong kinakaaway kahit joke lang nga..
ayan o, galit na yan.. madali lang
magalit! pero ok lang kasi pumapayag
naman din utangan... (dito kayo kasi
nakakalimutan nya!! wahahah!!
charmus...) dats it na munah... next
testi nanamans... gudnyt pipol! amen...

Clariz: 1/16/2004, 6:25 pm

kit, the GAY BITCH (jejeje)...a very
expressive person...yan yung nagsend
ng message sa attendance sheet namin
sa bio lec telling a guy that he
(she?) likes him.....Matalino yan, and
to mention, SK chairman po xa sa
province nla (ComVal)...responsible xa
(minsan?....joke!).....basta, i
consider myself lucky to have him as
my friend.......

Ram: 1/15/2004, 7:13 pm

Lemuel Kit Loma (pron. as Lowma!) yeah!
like dat! hay naku.. si Kit yan yung
friend ko na nanghiram ng black pants
and belt ko na gagamitin daw nya para
sa debate nila last sem.. na hanggang
ngayon nakakalimutan nyang dalin. kahit
everyday ko na syang iremind eh,
kalimutan pa rin nya.. ni way lam ko
sya ang best policy pag dating sa mga
beadle-lan.. la lang.. bait yan si kit
pag tulog.. -jokes!- testi ko ha!

__________________________

FIRST FRIENDSTER COMMENT

Aicha
12/18/2003, 11:19 am

Kitty is the most timid person in my
realm of friends, siya yung tipong
naga-hide ng feelings nya pag
nasasaktan siya. Hindi siya warfreak
kagaya ko at hindi malaki ang ulo
kahit na magaling siya sa kanyang
field. Sweet at malambing si Kit, pero
aawayin niya yung gustong manakit sa
kanyang mga kaibigan. Helpful rin,
chaka, ano, pwede mong mauutangan ng
10 pesos pang lunch^^

When You Were There

2008-09-25T05:52:00.003+08:00

You Were There - Regine Velasquez

Very great song indeed. I dedicate this song to all hopeless romantic fellows in the world. I dedicate this to those who are happy in love, broken hearted, unloved, abandoned and hopefuls - those who always believe in love no matter how cruel it has become to them.

Rant # 23: This Is Just Another Rant

2008-09-24T04:58:00.007+08:00

I just got this text message... "We may love the wrong person and cry for the wrong reason. But no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure: Mistakes… help us find the right people that are meant for us."

Indeed…

No matter what we're gonna do, if a relationship is not really meant for us, in the end, we'll be able to realize that and will eventually end it up. But then again, as what they said, the ending of that particular relationship will help us find the right one in the long run. Plus, they're gonna make us better as persons.

There are times when our relationships seem not working anymore. Siguro, one of the partners are not doing their part na to make their relationship still working. In that case, if you think you’ve done your part and if you think you're not even getting some responses for it then… its time for you to give it up. Useless lang din. Kung ayaw, ayaw. after all, you partner's not your loss. Maraming iba pa diyan, right? Pero diba, love is patient and kind? i don’t know. kasi iba-iba tayo ng pananaw. If you think love is two to tango which is definitely true then… you must give it up. pero if you believe that love is patient and kind which is also true din and if you still have the highest hope in the world that your relationship will work out sooner or later then… hold on to it. If the relationship still keeps you sane then go on.

As for me lang talaga ha… di dapat tayo mag give-up. Yong mga trials na yan actually make a relationship exciting. Alam naman siguro nating lahat yan. Tama ba? Wala lang. Just wanna remind you of that sweet thought behind those bitter things. Ika nga, para silang spices ng life na nagpapasarap. Napaka-unrealistic naman siguro ng isang relationship na wala talagang quarrels or what. Lahat siguro no matter how intimate a relationship is… may mga problems din. Again, ‘yon nga ang nagpapasarap sa isang relationship. Haven’t you realized, the more na saktan tayo ng minamahal natin, the more naman natin silang nilolove? What I mean is emotional na sinasaktan ha. Not physical. Diba? Think of this. When we were still little kids, may mga times na iiwan tayo ng parents natin, and of course, nasasaktan tayo do’n kasi nga iiwanan tayo and to note, bata pa tayo. Pero, mas hinahanap at minamahal natin sila at sa pagdating nila, we tend to hug them so tight. Diba? Same rin sa nararamdaman natin sa mga karelasyon natin from the opposite or even sa same sex. The more na sinasaktan tayo, the more tayong maiinlove, na in the end, we tend to ask: Why? The fact na sinasaktan tayo. Well, that could justify it all. Again nga, spices nga ‘yang mga hurt feelings hurt feelings na yan. That will measure as to how far your relationship can go with the person you're with.

Pero may hangganan din… That is when we realize na tama na. Hindi talaga sila para sa atin and other realizations…Pero kasi trials din yan kung macoconsider. So if possible, we have to fight for it and weigh things over before deciding to end it for good. We have to think about how much we’ve spent for the relationship as opposed to that single and unreasonable doubt if we still love our partner or not for some reason.

Uli’t uli… nandyan talaga ‘yong nasasaktan ka at makasakit ka… so the best thing to do is… talk about it with your partner - the reasons why kayo nag aaway and what ever. Usual lang siguro siya na advise pero alam mo… that’s the simplest thing na always nating nakakalimutan.

So… always tayong masasaktan. But we have to fight. We should not give up. It’s like a caterpillar in a cocoon, suffering intense heat and pains just to metamorphosize into a very beautiful butterfly. This is exactly the same thing with love. It needs painful things that will later on serve as foundations of a very strong and beautiful relationship.

-------------

Can't believe I wrote about this when I was still 17? Hehehe... Hopeless romantic talaga ako. Hahaha...

Eulogy: MEMORY BOX

2008-09-23T05:16:00.007+08:00

My sister woke me up as early as 5 am asking me if I could write her a Eulogy. As if she died and I was a friend who delivered a eulogy for her. I was so pissed off being disturbed at the peak of my very good sleep. I thought it's for her English subject. As a loving brother, I just replied OKI DOKI. Later on, I discovered it's such a hard work for me. (sigh)

Lately, I had a writer's bug so that it was so difficult for me to come up with an introduction for the eulogy. Aside from that, it scared me to write about it as I'm always scared thinking about a death of someone. But I was able to write something that sounded like a eulogy though.

------------------------

Too bad, I’m telling her all these when she’s not anymore able to hear it.

If I’m to give a title to my life with Malone, it’ll be MEMORY BOX. Just like the box, some things I shared with her when she’s still alive will always be cherished, treasured, kept and foremost lived with. My almost 20 years of life wouldn’t be the same without her. We had our share of fights, laughter, and even tears. And right now, I’m missing her so much. But what keeps me going on without her is the fact that like a MEMORY BOX, I can still have her with me in my life even with her absence. That is by just looking back to the things that we shared and thinking of the things both bad and good that she’s able to share with me.

I wouldn’t be the person that I am right now if not because of her. I was supposed to give up doing well in school and in life in general for financial and emotional reasons when she came and showed to me that problems indeed are not reasons for us to give up but challenges to improve ourselves. And our deficiencies are not excuses for us to back out but inspirations to move forward. I knew that she just got that from a text message forwarded to her by another friend, but she was there reminding me all those things. She didn’t only do it via her words, but she showed it to me as well. She showed to me how to be strong and how to fight life’s greatest challenges. And for showing me that, I became the same person - someone who’s better.

I became a person who’s strong enough to stand up amidst all obstacles that I encountered. I became better in the sense that I now know how to weigh things over and in the long run come up with good decisions. Though the decisions I made are not all the times good, but I am able to cope with them by my flexibility and optimism.

As I said, I wasn’t that kind of person before. I was weak, brittle, indecisive and pessimistic. I always got easily hurt, frustrated and hopeless. Not until I saw Malone fought for her trials in life. She’s always been optimistic. She was supposed to destroy her life when her family broke up. Just like other kids from a broken family, she could easily give up schooling, be alcoholic and worst, be dependent to drugs. But, no! She didn’t do that. Instead, she stood up, went on with life with a chin up and said, ‘I could make it!’ She made to enjoy her life and live as if she didn’t have problems of her own. Now, she even dies smiling.

‘Life’s to short to be wasted,’ she’s always telling me that once she saw me down with a frown on my face. She’s right. And she had her way of living life to the fullest. At first, I thought it was so silly. She was always inviting me to an event for a cause. She gave food, parties, clothes, comfort and other stuff to those abandoned children, elders, disabled and people who she thought need them the most. I was thinking, those people are not really her responsibility. I mean, they were not even related to her. I always wondered why instead of spending her time becoming a rich child of a broken family, she exhausted all her energies showing love to those what we call unloved. Later on, I just knew, life’s more than the money, school grades and recognitions and achievements that we get. It’s more of how you live life with the people around you. That is the essence of life. I don’t know if she’s able to read the book Tuesdays with Morrie, but it reminds me of what Morrie said. It goes, “The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

She’s a happy helper I could say. Never did she count all the things that she had done for someone. Never did she think of helping just so that she could get something in return. I was always a witness to all these. I was there with her when she received all the world’s criticisms when all she did was just help the one who deserved all those meanness. She didn’t even fight back. She didn’t even say a word. But instead, she just went on again and continued what she’d believed the right thing to do. And she’s doing all the help wholeheartedly with a smile and without inhibitions.

She might have imperfections. It’s normal as we are just human beings. But in her almost 20 years of living life, what she showed were examples that all of us should follow. This would make life much easier and worth living. I want to continue her causes of making life a wonderful place to live with amidst all the problems that we have.

At this point, I just would like to say how much I appreciate her coming to my life. I thank her for becoming the best friend not only to me but to everyone as well. She touched my and our lives with the things that she did for us. And I can never forget her for that. I want to shout straight at her face, with all my energies how great she is and how I thank her so much and love her. If I was able to show to her and let her feel that I love her back, I’m not sure of this. But one thing I know of and I told you this right at the start of this speech that, LIFE WOULDN’T BE THE SAME WITHOUT HER.

I wish she’s here as I’m telling her how much I and all of us love and thank her for becoming a part of our lives.

Sad though but the least that we could is, TREASURE THOSE MEMORIES WITH HER AND THE LESSONS THAT SHE IMPARTED TO US LIKE A MEMORY BOX. It’s kept, cherished and always looked back and live with.

Thank you.

Times That I Became So Pathetic

2008-09-23T01:18:00.008+08:00

CHAPTER 3: REMEMBERING THE SWEET GENTLE JASON

Jason was a classmate in my minor subjects in college. He was an AB- English student. He was a seatmate in many of our college subjects. At first, I just saw him walking around the campus. He had been a crush then but never did I think about an opportunity of having him as a friend. It's not until he became a classmate, happily, come second year. I felt his sweetness. He was so gentle. He shared to me some of his day's thoughts and all that. Not only he was sweet. He was SOOO charming as well. One day, I told him how my feeling for him developed into something I can't explain. I told him that I think I loved him. But he turned me down saying 'I'm straight and there's no way that we can be together'. The last thing I knew, he just had a girlfriend. I was so down that I did not anymore attend to my classes, I did not study, I even wore all black on wednesdays. Such that, I failed in some of my subjects. Hahaha...

But I was so grateful to Jason. Unlike many guys, he took some time to listen to me. We talked couple of times at the chapel just to clarify things between us. He did that just to comfort me and make me feel still valued. That helped me a lot to move on. I appreciate him for the effort. Through that, he let me feel my worth. That is something that only a real gentleman could do.

Times That I Became So Pathetic

2008-09-20T06:33:00.007+08:00

CHAPTER 2: FRESHMAN COLLEGE CRAZINESS

Here are some of the pathetic things that I did during college.

1. Byron (a friend's friend - accountancy major) - I did his Social Science's assignment. The memory's still fresh. He approached me somewhere in Addu's Thibault Building, 3.40 pm, Activity period, wednesday. He was so cute with his red shirt and pants. He became even whiter on that shade. After that, he forgot about me. End of our relationship. As if, I didn't exist at all. No me. Nuh-uh.

2. Fritz (engineering turned nursing major: English 13 classmate and seatmate) - I did some of his assignments as well.

3. Christopher (Psych Major: Biology classmate and searmate as well) - I was supposed to give him his favorite band's copy of an album, Parokya ni Edgar: gulong itlog gulong. During our boring biology classes, we chat through my notebook about his crushes, our feelings of the day, etc. He copied some of my answers during exams and quizes and text me for out class skeds, requirements and activities.

4. Francis (Masscom classmate: Section T1) - the ever easy going, happy go lucky person. He's so thin and brown. He always brings with him an umbrella for protection against sunburn and rain. See, he's so brown to be burned. I made my Filipino baby thesis with him. We did the project at his house in Malvar. What was good was, I slept on his bed and he was really so caring. I kept on writing his name on my notebook and cannot even sleep thinking of him.

etc etc... (sigh)

Times That I Became So Pathetic

2008-09-19T06:21:00.008+08:00

CHAPTER 1: WITH A TEXTMATE NAMED RAFFY

I was 16 years old then. I just happened to meet a lad named Raffy through a friend. The cellsite in our municipality was just set up that time. I just had my first Nokia phone (3310) in my life. I actually didn't have friends from a competitor public highschool. A former elementary classmate just happened to enroll himself in that school and I happened to have his cellphone number. I asked if I can have a textmate from their school and for some reason, he gave Raffy's number. That was how I knew him. We texted, talked over the phone, shared opinions about anything even frustrations, fears, sadness and happiness. I, in the process, gave in and easily fell in love with him. It was something I felt for the first time in my life. I was so overwhelmed with how it felt that I EVEN GAVE HIM LIKE PHONE CREDITS JUST TO PLEASE HIM. I told him after months and months of friendship that I love him more than that. Unfortunately, he's straight and he had a girlfriend. There's no way that he can give my love back to me. Sad. So sad. I was the saddest person in the world that time. But I was able to move on though after like a year I think.

Now I know Why I Love This Song

2008-09-18T03:48:00.005+08:00

BLEEDING LOVE

Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain
Time starts to pass, before you know it you're frozen
But something happened for the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground, found something true
And everyone's looking 'round, thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that their goal is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness, I see your face
Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Though they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
Oh, you cut me open and I

Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
Oh, you cut me open and I

Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love
Oh, you cut me open and I
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love

-------------

It was Jesse McCartney who wrote that. I didn't realize he's that so talented. Now I know why I love that song. Not only because it's really cool but it's Jesse who wrote that song. I SOOO LOVE JESSE MCCARTNEY! I wish I'm able to watch him live performing. He's the guy I've been looking for! He's cute, talented, cool! Somebody from Jesse's production should read this and grant my wish. I don't know what to do! I can't help but shout I LOVE YOU JESSE!!!

Rant # 22: I'm A SOBBER!

2008-09-16T03:45:00.006+08:00

I drink. Alcohol. When I'm alone, I drink. When I'm sad, depressed, frustrated and broken hearted, I drink. I drink a lot. A lot that I could get numb and dizzy to forget about everything and just do whatever I think I should do. When I'm drunk, I can say everything. I can let my feelings go without inhibitions. I can slap the person I'm angry to. I can punch someone in behalf of the one I hate most. I can do just everything. Everything. That's why I drink. I drink a lot.

The next thing I know, it's already morning. 10.00 am. The sun has risen so high. The temperature's kinda hot. There's a lot of noise from the neighborhood. The dogs are barking. The vehicles are beeping and buzzing. I wake up with my head, back, hands and feet aching. My eyes are half-closed as it gets irritated with the bright sunlight. I don't want to fully open them. It hurts. But I have to. And as I open it, there back the feeling that I hate to feel. I still feel the pain, the sadness. I can just smile and pretend that I'm ok.

I'm not. I'm not in any way OK. I'm hurt. I'm not supposed to feel this way. But I hate them!

I hate those who tell you they love you but the truth is they don't.

I hate those who slap you with the fact that you're left behind.

Those who know you love them but blatanlty showing you they are loving somebody else.

They play around with that somebody else
They talk sweetly
They hug
They cuddle
They smile with each other romantically
They're always together

In front of you.

And you're there...

alone
sitting
watching
crying
hurt

You want to be the one who...

Plays around with that person
Talks with him anything and in the long run, get to know him better
Hugs
cuddles
Smiles romantically with him
and just be with him

But you can't. There's no way that you can.

Sad. So sad. So I'll just get a bucket of Gran Matador. I know there's still someone better in store to do all those things to me. Someone better. But right now? I feel so hurt emotionally. It hurts that I have to drink again, be wasted and forget about everything.

---------

Written while listening to Simple Plan's UNTITLED
with Mitch Albom's One more day book beside and a lot of Nescafe cups on my table.

Alfie's Farewell Text Message

2008-09-15T22:11:00.003+08:00

Life is cruel because good friends are aplenty, encircling me.
My great stay in Manila behooves me to see the wonderful side of life.
Thanks for journeying with me in Manila.
And as I continue my journey to where ever life will take me,
the fond memories we shared together will always be
laughed about - cherished.

To...

Velia
Delia
Lea
Rey
April
Glen
Clint
Kit
Pansit
Vhong
Long

and everyone I forgot to mention...

THANK YOU AND 'TIL NEXT TIME! :)

-0O0-

This is Kuya Alfie's text message before he went to Cebu. He's the Corporate Events Specialist of Bayantrade who's now assigned in Cebu. He's a boardmate and a friend for four months. He was there the first time I freak out due to alcohol. I will miss him.

Rant # 21: Five (5) Boyfriends You Shouldn't Have

2008-09-13T06:56:00.006+08:00

OK. Let me rant again about love and relationship. I've just come to realize this while looking at the pictures of an x through Friendster. The truth is, I never have a successful relationship. I have a lot of x's. The longest relationship I have lasted for just two (2) months. All the rest, just a week. Hahaha... So for 4 years of flirting, you couldn't just imagine how many x's I already have. Perhaps because, I haven't bumped yet with the right one? That's a one big possibility. I have actually asked God about this, WHY DO I ALWAYS FALL FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS A LOT OF ISSUES? That fact has made me think I am problematic myself as well.

Should the title be like that or Why You shouldn't have me as a boyfriend? I am not sure. But i can write something about that in another blog. If I am credible enough to write about this, I'm not sure as well. All I know is, I'm so sick and tired of boyfriends with a lot of issues. I've enough of short term relationships. I want something stable, matured or something that'll last.

So here are some of the list of boyfriends that you shouldn't have:

1. Highschool Curious - Ahm. Yeah. call it pedophile. But we have to admit, there are curious high school students out there craving for someone who they can be with in a relationship for the first time. By High School students I mean, gay/bi/unsure 14-16 year old males. You will just meet him somewhere like in malls. Eventually, you'll hang out oftentimes, talking about childish stuff like favorite television programs, computer games, school subjects and assignments, teacher and the like. They will get attached and will tell you how much you mean to them and if you can be boyfriends. Though they have the purest intention in the world, I think, these guys are not yet emotionally ready to possibilities. Possibilities that in a relationship, there are times that you will misunderstand each other and eventually fight and part ways. They will demand so much of your time. If you're not gonna go with them strolling in the mall, or if you're not gonna text them where you're at or ask them how they are, they're gonna scream you to death, cry and will tell you how much you disregard them and stuff like that. Sweet though but it's sooo tiring.

2. Two Timer Asshole - They are those who will tell you how much they like you. They'll tell you that you are far better than the one he has and for that, he will leave the current in due time. Of course, because love is blind and because it cannot even think, you will believe. At the end of the day, you will see yourself being caught in an unsure situation. Days and days will pass and your two timer asshole boyfriend is still hooking up with the other one. Give them an ultimatum and they cannot beat it. They will tell you, he's not yet able to find a right time blah blah blah. Fuck him! Leave them and you'll be happier with someone much better.

3. Best Lier/Playing Dumbass - This reminds of the Rihanna's bitter song Take A Bow. It goes... "and the award for the best lies goes to you for making me believe that you would be faithful to me. Let me hear your speech" with the ooohh after that. Oh well! They suck! As in s.u.c.k... suck! Why do they have to lie if they can tell you the truth? That would make life a lot easier. They don't need to tell you and assure you how much they love you if they do not feel it to begin with. You can just look for another one. They might have their reasons but then again, they suck! And this is what i want to do to them: LIE BACK. Hahaha...

4. Drama King - They will narrate to you how much struggles they're getting in life, that they have to work hard just for their education, that they're from a broken family or that they were abused senti stories... senti stories... senti stories... At the end, they will leave for one reason: They have issues that they need to fix by themselves alone. They dont want to include their partners with their problems whatnots. He needs space, he needs to reflect about certain things and all. But to our surprise, we'll see him enjoying every moment FLIRTING WITH SOMEONE ELSE. What's sad is when that someone else is your friend who will tell you, 'You were not there when he needed you the most.' Duh! This person doesn't just use those stories as excuses but they do really have issues within them. Personality problem? They're the vaguest people in the world! Just don't try to understand them. You will never get an answer. You will end up becoming CRAZY!

And lastly the...

5. Closet Gay - I understand that we're all gays. I mean, money aside, those who engage in the same sex relationships are gays/homos. Right? But there are those who are so discrete that they usually play the tough or male role in homosexual relationships. What's bad about having a boyfriend who cannot make up his mind is because he will crave to find someone tougher than him. If you're the soft one in your relationship with this type of boyfriend, then expect that you will be left behind. Sometimes, those closet gays or the one who plays the tough one or the one who you expect to play the male role in the relationship also wants to play the female role. So they will leave you for that reason. Hmmm... This explains.

Hahaha... I can't believe I've with those kinds of people. Hahahaha... I am able to survive though. Thanks to my friends.

Rant # 20: Why The Fats...

2008-09-11T22:28:00.021+08:00

AT DAVAO'S FIRST RESTAURANT (?)

I'm not anymore sure of the restaurant's name. Taken in one of our boring dinner moments. We just felt eating some noodles and one of our classmates told us that the restaurant had the best noodles in town so we went there, ordered and yeah... THEY DIDN'T ONLY HAVE THE BEST NOODLES IN TOWN, THEY SERVED A LOT OF IT AS WELL. The truth was, we ordered a lot thinking we're just getting less per order. We were so surprised to see bowls and bowls of noodles that we ended up with a stomachache trying to eat all of them.

-0O0-

AT THE ATENEWS (EATING KEBAB FROM KHASH PERSIAN KEBAB IN JACINTO)

This was an undecided snack with Paul. It was after our final exams. We were all so craving for food. I was eating two pieces of Beef Kebab with two cups of rice with a C2 and Pik One as my beverage and dessert which are not included in the pic. We'd just eaten our lunch then at the foodcourt when after couple of hours, we suddenly felt so hungry that we couldn't resist it but decided to eat again. We just couldn't deprive ourselves of what we want especially with food because we deprived ourselves with that before when we still had a lot of academic things to do.

-0O0-

AT GREENWHICH VICTORIA PLAZA

I was with Jeszyl and Rille that time. It was not lunch time nor dinner neither breakfast. We just felt going to Greenwhich and ate their meal package which cost us like 300. The meal was good for 5 persons I think and there were only three of us eating. We rested for a while and Rille ate the spaghetti after we took a picture of it while it's still half full.

-0O0-

AT THE DINING HALL IN DATCHAS RESORT, TAGAYTAY

Before we went back to Manila, we had our last meal at Datchas first. We ate hotdogs and eggs for that. I think it was Chrisell and Kisha who prepared for our meal that time. The food was ready when I went down and see what was happening. There was a lot of noise in the place as we were talking about the drinking session we had the past night.

-0O0-

AT TAGAYTAY'S PUBLIC MARKET

This was where I tasted the best Bulalo ever! I was able to eat like a lot of rice without worrying how much bigger my tummy could get for eating that much. There was one thing I definitely knew that time, the food was sooo delicious. Minus though some ladies and gentlemen who forced me to buy some of their delicacies which name I forgot. Yeah. Buko pie was one of those but there were still other delicacies which I like. I actually liked the food itself, it's just that I hated the idea of harassing someone just so that he/she would buy those food. It's really good to eat when you're with your friends.

SUCH THAT... I BECOME SO LIKE THIS:

FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT

(but now I'm trying to control my food intake to regain my sexy and beautiful and seductive figure... lol!!!)

Rant # 19: Only Hungry People Can Realize This

2008-09-11T01:59:00.013+08:00

French : Affamé
Nihonggo : 空腹
German : Hungrig
Tagalog : Gutom

IN ENGLISH - H U N G R Y !

I don't even have a peso in my pocket. A sad reality for someone who's away from home, working real hard and yet don't have a money to spend for a food one wants to eat for the day.

What's sadder is when you see other people enjoying their meal at a fine dining restaurant which a single viand without a rice will cost you like 600 Pesos. You cannot but drop your jaw especially if you'll see them feeding their golden spoon to their smiling mouth and when you realize that what they're wearing is a cloth from Gucci, Van Heussen with some precious stones around their neck, fingers and even ankles. You might cry when you know that they're wearing a 15,000 Peso worth of outfit. That can be spent for your sibling's education for a semester. You'll really feel how poor you are and how unfair life can be. They are there enjoying and eating while you're sobbing and starving.

I DON'T HAVE MONEY AND I'M HUNGRY!

But that's life. It's never fair! A lot of people will say that it's designed that way, that it's what we call balance of nature blah blah blah... blah blah blah. Give me all the explanation you want about it. Still, IT'S UNFAIR and IT'S SAD!

I wonder how it feels to be super rich that you don't have to work so hard yet still full... So rich that you don't have to be away from home but still earning... that you just have to sit, watch tv, stroll but you can still eat a lot, laugh a lot, and have a lot of money.

Perhaps, they have a problem of their own as well. I don't really care. What I know is this, I DON'T HAVE MONEY AND I'M HUNGRY! So just understand if I'm ranting a lot. I'm just a HUNGRY WORKER!

Picture Courtesy of:
bp3.blogger.com/.../S271/hungry-kid.jpg

Rant # 18: Pity Are Those Who Brag!

2008-09-10T04:35:00.006+08:00

I always wonder why people have to brag something when life's so simple... YOU JUST HAVE TO LIVE IT AND BE CONTENTED. No doing something just to get appreciation whatnots. I mean, what's the point of doing that? If you're good, you are good. No question. If you're recognizable, then you will be recognized. If you're not, then let it be. It won't hurt you. It won't make you less of a person.

A sigh for the brags.

Or should I say, a laugh out loud for them. They are not just pathetic, they are foremost LOSERS! I should understand them. Yes. They have a lot of issues and hang ups in life. But I just can't help it! They're getting into my nerve. Should I care? I should not. But then again, they're irritating. The tamest person on Earth can attest to that.

Anyway, I pity those people. Someone should tell them they're not becoming so nice anymore and rescue them in the long run. It's definitely not me. Someone whose skin is thicker than that of a Water Buffalo's skin or whose level of patience is like that of an Ant.

Ok. I understand that we have human needs as well. Or should I call it EGO NEEDS. But, duh! We can satisfy that by just doing something we know is right and instantaneously be glorified, praised and appreciated for doing that. No need to shout to the whole world that 'HEY! This is what I've done and this is what I have!'

Any coping mechanism to people like them? Right now, what I'm doing is listen to them and laugh. I'm not giving them what they want! In that case, they'll be more pathetic... hahaha... *cutie laugh

Rant # 18: Blog of A Proud TITO

2008-09-09T23:19:00.007+08:00

Baby Cedrick John
(First Nephew)
August 14, 2008

♠ I didn't expect that I'll become a TITO this year. I got mad to my brother knowing he got his girl pregnant. See, life's so hard. But then again, it already happened and it's also good to realize that there's another baby in the family (looking at the brighter side of it).

♠ If I'm gonna name him, it would be: JESSE (?) - Yeah, inspired from Jesse McCartney's name.

♠ I just hope he'll become a good child.

♠ Now Pingping can have someone to share with her Harry Potter stories and stuff. For sure anyway that Pingping will not turn him into someone like ME (yeah... you get it)

♠ I wonder how Mama feels knowing that she's gonna be a real Grandmother? Hehehe...

Rant # 17: Just A Thought

2008-09-09T01:25:00.012+08:00

From: Hubag (College Classmate) When people hurt you over and over, think of them like a sandpaper... They may scratch you and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless...

----------

On the picture with me are (from left to right) Alex, Betsy, Ja, Onnie, Clinton, Me, and Charisse. This picture was taken at Enchanted Kingdom in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. Before, I was just dreaming of going to a place like Enchanted Kingdom. I didn't realize that after years of dreaming and hoping and thinking, I was able to go there and enjoy whatever it was that the place had to offer. The trip was actually planned after they knew about the newb's Tagaytay trip. This also served as a farewell stuff for Onnie because that time, her resignation was about to take effect. We were not really that acquainted, but I understand how Betsy and the rest felt about her resignation. It's really sad when someone you used to be with in work will be leaving.

Anyways, the text message above doesn't have to do with the picture posted. Of course, they are not making my life miserable and they're not making things hard for me. They don't even pressure me to do something that I can't, but they do challenge me to be better and competitive. They polish me in the sense that they let me know on which aspect do I have to improve and stuff.

From: Jm Papacoy (Highschool Classmates)

It's nice to recall our mistakes in the past, laugh at our dumb old selves, and joke about real life punchlines. Besides remembering how stupid we were, it makes us realize how less stupid we are now.

----------

The picture was taken at Mam Claire's house in San Pedro, Laguna. I looked so fat, which was something I kind of was not so proud about. And I looked so haggard as well. I've been awake that time for more than 24 hours already. It was an unplanned activity for the weekend. Mam Claire just called Pansit After our Berlitz Training in Makati inviting us to go there to her place because she prepared a small party. It was a party with nothing to celebrate. They just came to think of it. That was good though. We had a lot of eating and singing. The first time I went out of Manila. We didn't bring with us our extra clothes so we just borrowed from Mam Claire. I had fun amidst the fact that I was so tired that time. Really. Before I forgot, the typhoon Frank was on Signal No. 1 on that day and on that very location.

From: Ariene (High School Classmate) Sometimes, you have to fall from the mountain to realize what you are climbing for. Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for. From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, I survived!

----------

This was taken somewhere in Tagaytay. We were on our way back to Manila. Everybody was happy and satisfied. We had our last glimpse of the, for us, memorable Taal Volcano. We just didn't realize that the place we were standing on was already the volcano's cater. The picture painted friendship, dream, aspiration, hope that someday, all of us will be able to surpass all our challenges with a flying color.

From: Jed (Knightingale)

There will be days when you get home from a party and forget what the fun was about... Or have a very long, intimate conversation yet feel there are still words left unspoken... Or embrace your special someone yet never have the strength to say you case so much... Life tells us that happiness is never absolute. So while it's still there, seize the moment... Because it may never come again. Never regret anything you do. Everything is done for a reason.

----------

Perfect Commerce's US Business Analysts in one of our boring Saturday after shift. They call this picture the Evolution with Jai (far left) as the first stage and fortunately Me as the fully evolved human being! Hahaha... This was taken at Bonifacio High Street.

-o0o-

This might have been a cliche but, yeah, life is really so short. Sometimes, things will not turn out the way we want it to be but, it's designed in order to give way to something better. So just cherish the moment and enjoy life up to its fullest!

Rant # 16: Just Coz I Am So Gay

2008-09-06T06:13:00.005+08:00

After 3 weeks of silence towards him, I decided to end it. I just thought, it's so tiring to isolate yourself from the group that you always have to deal with just because of a single someone who you don't want to talk with. I can do that. I was able to do that ever since. But not this time though. Not with someone I see and hear every minute and second and milli-second. I'm trying to move on. And talking with him I think would be the better first step for me to be able to totally do that.

Oh well I think I know the reason why he left me. I think it's because I am SOOO GAY. I mean, I act, talk, and sound like a gay (because I really am) - so soft. Yeah. I remembered him telling me one day that, if we're together, people seemed to look at us like we're so weird and that I am a gay benefactor and he's the beneficiary (I don't think I look like a dirty old gay that people will think about it). Anyway, I didn't actually think about that. I just dismissed that thought because I really don't care about what people would say regarding gay couples.

And I think I have a sound judgment as to whether that can be his reason or whatnot. I don't know. I just felt it. And if that's true then I now don't know what to do, how to feel, what to think and stuff. I will be the angriest man in the world and I will think of him as a cockroach that doesn't have a mind, soul and feeling and that deserves to be stamped, beheaded and killed. I will think he's not human at all!

I can't accept that reason because to begin with, he was the one who hit on me. I was asking him before why he told me he liked it to be with me and that why he loved to have me as his partner. He told me, it's beyond reason. He knew right from the start that this is me! I act, talk and behave this way! I assumed, he was able to accept me as me. That is something that I've been looking for a partner. But again, No! He left me because of it. Again, he should've not told me those if he didn't really mean it and if he was not even sure about that feeling.

I even asked him before if it's ok with him to have a partner who is so gay! He laughed at it and told me, 'yes of course!' And even wondered why people tend to think that their partner has to be so discrete. He said, having a so gay partner is actually ok. It doesn't matter, he added. As per him, what matters most is the feeling. Well, let me give him a rolling eyes on this.

He's eating his words! He lied to me and if I'm gonna count the number of lies he had when we're together, that would make the Philippines the richest country in the whole wide world!

He did not tell me about it, neither any of our friends did. And I can't do anything about it anymore if that's really the case. Again and again, the least that I can do is sigh and move on as if nothing happened and as if I don't feel anything (when the truth is, something happened and I feel a lot). This is so ridiculous!

Rant # 15: Marry Me, Man!

2008-09-04T04:51:00.009+08:00

At first, I thought I heard it wrong. Ellen Degeneres will be wed with her partner. And I thought I saw it wrong. Her partner is a girl. But I was right. Yeah. Ellen and her partner who happens to be a girl as well will be wed. It's gonna be aired and it's something Ellen is proud about.

That made me think of a favorite debate topic way back in school. Should homosexuals be given the right to marry?

Granting gay or lesbian partners the right to marry has been an issue for the longest time already. This has never been resolved, although some states have legalized this one, because of the intervention of the conservative sectors usually the religious ones.

Is marriage an exclusive religious practice? Or it's more of civil or communal that everybody whether you're a part of a religious group or not should have something to say about.

Primarily, religions view marriage as a rite that announces the partnership or binding of a man and a woman in a community. This is a recognition that both couples will be forming their own family which will give them extra rights, duties and responsibilities. So then, marriage is tantamount to procreation. Hence, since gays and lesbians are not capable of doing so, they can never marry.

But can gays and lesbians be partners?

Just like the normal quote and quote "heterosexual" couples, of course they can be partners! They may not be able to procreate but they can be intimate as well and be partners who can be agents of social change. They are capable of supporting one another and someone else emotionally, physically, economically, socially, mentally and foremost... spiritually.

So with that, there can be no reason why they will never be granted with the right to be recognized in the community as partners.

Giving them such a right would mean, a total acceptance of their existence in our community. We cannot but close our eyes to the fact that they are proliferating and they also have some needs that need to be addressed and look into. Just like the normal people, let's put it that way, they are people as well whose expressions have to be respected. They are people who have inherent rights that should be given to them.

The bible doesn't actually mention anything about prohibiting same partners to marry. Or I haven't heard of anything like a story in the bible that says something like that. Probably because, there was no homosexuality during those days. It's actually the people who assume that it's not right simply because it's not stated in the bible and the like. But I believe, as it is not stated, religious should hinge their reasons on practicality because the principle of that bible hinges on that.

I don't see any point of banning the marriage when it's not in any way negatively affecting anything in our society. Will it cause economic depression? Global warming? And all other negative environmental and social phenomena? I think no. We legalize something that deems to be necessary in nation building. We ban a law or an activity that deems to destroy our nation such as war, abusive use of our internal revenue and the like.

I think marriage requires not just the ability of the couple to procreate. Because if that's the case, impotent couples should not be given the right to marry. Most importantly, it requires the dedication of the couple to keep their relationship, be together for better or for worst, and to help strengthening the community by showing even a modicum of respect to the established laws and the like.

Oh well, you might say, we don't really need marriage just for the gays to be productive in their relationship. It's like saying though, that a man and a woman don't need to be married just for them to be productive. We need marriage just for us to formalize our bonding with someone. We need it not just that, but to tell to the world that I am owned and that I am obliged to be loyal to the partner I bowed to the community to be with for the rest of my life. Heterosexuals don't just have the capability to do that. Homos can be loyal as well. Enough said.

So, should there be a law allowing homos to marry? I think, there should be. Tell me, it's problematic. And I will prove you wrong.

Picture Courtesy of:
http://dialoginternational.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/gay_marriage.jpg

The Faithful's Messages

2008-09-03T00:41:00.001+08:00

Posting these text messages about God and how it is to believe and have faith in Him. I hope they will inspire you in some ways.

From: Mama

God said... Trials are not the reason to give up, but a challenge to improve ourselves. Difficulties are not excuses to back out, but inspirations to move forward.

---------------

From: Mama

Prayer changes things. Worry changes nothing. So instead of worrying about what you can't do, think of what God can do for you!

--------------

From: Unknown

There are things in life that we question a lot. But do we realize that answers come, when we stop asking? That's what we call faith! God is good all the time.

--------------

From: Jai Ann (Friend)

Behind every circumstance is God's purpose. At times, what we consider a trial is simply the HAND OF GOD rearranging our lives to be more fruitful.

---------------

From: Joan (Friend)

God is the reason why even in the saddest part of life, we smile; even in confusion we understand; even in betrayal we trust and even in fear of pain... WE STILL LOVE.

---------------

From: Jai Ann (Friend)

God hears what's not spoken and understands what's not explained. For his love doesn't work in the lips nor in the mind but in the heart.

---------------

From: Kuya Ej (Crush/Team Mate - L2S)

...Just close your eyes and feel the morning with a prayer. As you go on to your work, take things easy for GOD knows you are doing better each day.

---------------

From: Devy (College Friend)

God speaks to those who take time to listen and he listens to those who take time to pray. Remember, he listens beyond words. He listens to your heart.

---------------

From: Malone (Sibling)

God makes us brave when we are afraid. Makes us strong when we are weak but most of all, He teacher us to hold on to Him when things keep on falling.

Rant # 14: 15 Ways To A Successful Relationship

2008-09-01T15:30:00.007+08:00

A conversation over Yahoo Messenger on 11:06 AM 9/1/2008.

GUY 1: Three (3) weeks na kami break nong friend ko na naging lover din. And I don't know kung magkakabalikan kami.

GUY 2: Aba nasa inyo yan. Kung sa tingin mo may pag asa pa then work on it. Kung wala na, hanap na ng iba. Ganun lang ka simple yon.

Dapat aware kayo sa feelings ng bawat isa eh.

GUY 1: Talaga? Ako I want to work it out... Pero I don't know with him. Di ko alam if I have to make the first move kasi actually, I tried na before pero nothing happened... I didnt pursue him nalang.

GUY 2: Prankahin mo sya... Kung gusto pa ba nya sayo... or baka naman may iba na sya kase tol.

GUY 1: Talaga? Di ba pathetic move yon?

GUY 2: Maraming lalake dyan. Hindi naman kase. Hindi lang sya ang taong pwedeng mag mahal sayo. Marami dyan.

GUY 1: uu nga... pero iba kasi yong start ng relationship namin. We started out as super buddies...room mates pa and same office lang... I dont think kasi makakahanap ako ng someone like him here in Manila... 'Yong tipong beyond sex na relationship.

GUY 2: Ahh ganun ba? Oo nga naman tama ka dun. Well ikaw ano ba dpat mong gawin? 'Yong tama ha. Kase walang ibang pwdeng tumulong sa inyo kundi mga self nyo din. Dapat alam nyo sa self nyo kung kayo pa ba or hindi na.

GUY 1: Nakakainis nga... Mahirap mag move on coz isang house lang kami, isang office, same shift pa... so kami kami lang talaga ang magkakasama always... Iisa pa yong kama namin... Ayoko rin namang mag move out... Kasi ok na yong location namin from our office...I dont know...

GUY 2: OK then.

GUY 1: Confused talaga ako ngayon. I still want him pero remembering the things that he did to me, parang napapaback out ako.

GUY 2: Pag isipan mo muna kase. Kita mo na. Analyze mo muna. Kase mukhang naguguluhan ka eh.

GUY 1: Nag rereflect nga ako ngayon.

GUY 2: Ok if u say so...

GUY 1: hehehe... Anyways... How did you make it up ba? (At nagtagal kayo for 5 years ng boyfriend mo?)

Patience?

Or what?

GUY 2: hmmm... OK.. Gaya ng sinabi...

GUY 1: Ano ingredients to a successful relationship?

GUY 2: ...kanina bihira kaming mag away ni JB. kase simple lang. una una sa lahat

1. Be loyal and always be sweet
2. Never lie to one another
3. Pag may di ka gusto sabihin mo
4. Wag kang mag sasabi ng ok tapos hindi naman pala
5. Be aware sa feelings nya
6. Wag mong gagawin yong mga bagay na ayaw nya
7. wag mo syang ikukumpara sa mga ex mo
8. Never talk about break ups
9. When you get hurt just forgive and forget
10. Forget about your "PRIDE"
11. If you say sorry, mean it
12. Don't talk about your stupid x's
13. Just give and take
14. When you had a fight, don't let the day end w/o being fine.
15. You Don't have to be the perfect one, just be BE THE RIGHT ONE

Picture Courtesy of:
http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/2080219/SunsetOnBeach-main_Full.jpg

Rant # 13: Silence (Week 3)

2008-08-30T01:02:00.007+08:00

Have I moved on?

Ahm... Should I say yes? Or should I say trying to think I have? I'm not sure because there's still this feeling of hatred, jealousy and unfortunately, care.

Have I mastered the art of indifference?

Let me think about that. I've been telling people about how I become so indifferent towards him. I've been telling them that I don't anymore care about what he does, who he's dealing with and the like. But the truth is, there is still a modicum of care. My heart still has a small seed of hope that maybe someday, we'll be able to bring back the kind of relationship that we had before.

Unlike the other guys that I had, they're right, my case right now is different.

That just means to say that I cannot impose the mechanism that I used to have. This is different in the sense that we are living in and we are of the same company. Provided, our situation is the other way around then most likely, I can be the super duper indifferent person on earth towards him. But no. We need to interact. And that's because of the reason as simple as, we live together. Alright.

The solution might be moving out. But no! That's something I can't afford to do at this time. My place right now is I think the cheapest that I can have here in Manila. I can save a lot and buy a lot. I just have to be practical. Aside from the fact that it's cheap, it's just a ride away to our office. I will never sacrifice practicality over petty things like HIM!

Just give me more days and I'll be totally over.

My feelings are mixing up right now. So what I'm doing is just to dismiss those feelings as if they don't exist at all. To forget about them, what I do is, I think about the things I dream of in life career-wise and the like. I pray about bumping into someone that's destined to be mine. I redirect everything to my thoughts and not to what I've been feeling lately. Because thinking about the latter just makes me so crazy!

I've a stupid question... HOW CAN WE SAY WE'VE BEEN SO REAL WITH OURSELVES?

I asked that because I think, one of the possible reasons why homosexual relationship tend to fail is because they have inhibitions to act as to who they really are. They are afraid to show to the world that Hey! This is who and what we are and we don't care what you people think about us. They tend to hide and lie a lot. I know it's not exclusive to homo relationships but usually, that's the case for homos. There might be cases like that for heterosexual relationships but I think that's so odd and of course, so different. Maybe if their partner has an issue (like the partner's gay or something? - lol).

Anyways, also... one thing that I've learned about from the experience I've just had is this... PARTNERS SHOULD NEVER THINK OF THE POSSIBILITY THAT THEY WILL END UP SO SOON. They can be so open to that possibility but thinking about it to the point of believing that it'll really happen as in so soon is definitely a no no. That would make each of you unfair from one another. What you can do is just cherish the moment that you're together and just live as if you will be together forever and ever. Possibilities are always there. And the possibility that these possibilities will become so real is so near when you think that they're gonna happen.

So, yeah. I think I'm moving on. Just don't let me hear him talking so gay because it doesn't really fit him though yeah, he is gay! Hahaha... and yeah... He's coming out now! *cutie laugh

My Profile No. 2

2008-08-29T00:44:00.000+08:00

This is my Friendster Profile...

Im just...

► single
► cute
► slim
► petite
► open-minded
► opinionated
► insensitive
► lazy
► snob
► lately im into collecting condoms
► love listening to gregorian music though i dont really have the chance to listen to that kind of musical genre
► i like spongebob lately because i think we share the same personality... spongebob's as sensible as me... we have the same idealism and thoughts about life
► I always dream of becoming the person i want myself to be
► i love to do things that i do
► im not confused... nor am i anxious... im not even aware of having those feelings... i think im just like this
► im not vague as well
► i know what im saying
► THINGS REALLY CHANGE... I HAVE TO LEARN TO ADMIT THAT THERE ARE REALLY PROMISES THAT CANT BE FULFILLED... THAT THERE ARE PLANS THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, CANT REALLY BE REALIZED... THAT SOME PEOPLE JUST LEAVE YOU FOR SOME REASON YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT. THEY JUST LEAVE, SAY GOODBYE AND THAT'S IT, WITHOUT EVEN TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION HOW MUCH PAIN YOU FEEL AND ALL.

I SHOULDVE KNOWN IT FROM THE VERY START..

EVERYTHING'S GONE...

NOW... IM BLANK

NOTHING'S INTERESTING...

NONE.

Rant # 12: Should I say, I've learned?

2008-08-26T05:30:00.000+08:00

Loving someone is too risky. You give up the most wonderful things but you still get hurt. You try to stand for it yet you fall. but then who says love is fair? It isn't. It never was. - A text message from a friend

-oOo-

I was with Paopao and April for dinner at DEC just right outside Market Market. We talked about love and relationship. I told them that I really learned a lot from the experiences I've just had. 'Actually,' I told them, 'I learned and knew about them even before. I just forgot or I just disregarded them.' Then Paopaol quoted a line from Grey's Anatomy...

"There are some lessons that have to be learned over and over again."

I want to quote as well some line from the Corinthians telling something about what a love should be.

It goes...

Love is always patient.
Love is always kind.
Love is never envious
or arrogant with pride
nor is she conceited
and she is never rude.
She never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She is never resentful
is never glad with sin
but always glad to side with truth.
She bears up under everything
Believes the best in all
There is no limit to her hope
AND SHE WILL NEVER FALL.

I've known that since high school. And from the moment I stumbled upon that sweet thought about love, I promised to hinge my relationship on that. But I think I failed for the nth time.

I was never patient.
I was never kind.
I was always envious...
I was thinking just myself? (can be)
I was always annoyed

I think that is the answer that I've been looking for. That is the problem that I was not able to figure out before. I have noted this and I'll definitely apply this the next time I'll enter again in a relationship.

This time, I'm leaving everything to what we call DESTINY. If it will give a partner that I can live with forever... someone who I can understand and who will understand me... the one who I can accept and who can accept me in return... I'll be so much willing to take the risk - to love again, get hurt but be so happy in the long run. What I'm looking for is an intimate partner who can share everything with me. I just have to live life like I used to do. I know it'll come. It might not be right now, but I know it's so soon.

Some people might ask, why do I always crave for a partner when we don't really need that. As long as we have like friends or something, we can always live happily with no problems. Yes, that can be right. But I just love how it feels when you know you have someone who's willing to share everything with you. Friends can do that but they have their own lives as well. And yes, they can never be so intimate with us. That's it.

So much of this. I really have enough. I just have to let things be and be happy! I'm moving on...

Picture Courtesy of:
http://images.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/EUR/2400-1273~Lovers-III-Posters.jpg&imgrefurl=http://profile.myspace.com

From the Broken Hearted's Inbox 2

2008-08-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

From: Ivy (Highschool Classmate)

I cannot hate those people for what they have done to me. For as soon as I begin to hate, I become just like them... Pathetic, bitter and unloved.

-----------------------------

From: Ivy (High school Classmate)

Sometimes, we dream on ideal love we wanted. When it comes, we give the best to hold on to it but thought we gave more than enough, THEY STILL HURT US FOR THE REASON WE DON'T UNDERSTAND.

-----------------------------

From: Derick (G4M Friend)

Chance or choice?

When you meet the right person to love at the right place at the right time, that's a chance.

Being caught that there are many people out there who are more attractive and smarter than your mate and you decide to love him/her just the same, that's a choice.

Attraction comes to us by chance. But TRUE LOVE that lasts, is truly a choice. Fate brings you together but IT'S STILL UP TO YOU TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

----------------------------

From: Unknown

Don't go for someone who's always telling you how perfect you are because you're not. Find someone who'll tell you exactly what s/he thinks of you. Someone who will tell you how irritating and impossible you can be. Someone who compliments you at the right time. someone who will laugh at your clumsiness, but would still love you for it. Someone who won't be afraid to tell you the truth, because only those who can be honest and loyal would stay with you up to the very end.

----------------------------

From: PJ (Met @ Kasagingan in Davao)

It is not destiny that determines love, it is choice. Our so called destiny is a lie. Relationships last long not because they're destined to last long. Relationships last long because two brave people made a choice to keep it, to fight for it and to work for it. Meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they're destined to fail. They failed because one of the two or both, made the choice to set each other free.

---------------------------

From: Michelle aka Hubag (College Friend)

You can close your eyes from the things you don't want to see. But you can never close your heart from the things you don't want to feel.

Rant # 11: Silence (Week 2)

2008-08-23T04:32:00.000+08:00

And the silence goes on.

I hate him more especially when I saw him cuddling with his quote and quote "highschool" classmate. Obviously, both of them have a thing for each other. Our friends are not telling me about them but I know that they know. I am not that gullible not to notice it. Anyways, I think they look better for each other. I want to quote my gay friend but I just don't wanna say it. It might offend them. I have to understand, not everybody can understand us.

I really hate to realize that there are really people who cannot seem to understand. It might be because of the time you've spent together or they just don't want to understand. I'm not sure. If they're gonna say, that is who they are... let me say it back to them... THIS IS ALSO WHO I AM... If I can't change them the way they are then they can't change me even more.

(Sigh)

Oh well... I just can't imagine how pathetic I became.

...that I even begged him not to leave me. I was thinking, perhaps, we can still work our relationship out and you just don't know how I'm already attached with him that it hurts me to just even think he's with somebody else.

- he said, no.
- I said, perhaps you didn't really love me to begin with.
- he said, yeah. Because, according to him, If he did and if he still does, having me back might have been so easy for him. But no! That is not the case. *ouch*

My friend told me why in hell did I do that. Where's my self-esteem and respect to myself? I answered, I don't know with a straight face.

Sometimes, I thought, perhaps I also have my own share of personality disorder. My partners are always dropping me off so easily. And I mean all of them. So there must have been a problem that I cannot figure out. I am sweet, thoughtful, loving... What? I am jealous... yeah. But... I think it's kind of normal. I really can't understand why people do that to me. Am I not destined for a stable partner? Or again, haven't I just met him yet? I hate it.

He told me 'he's not able to feel the whirlwind romance' that he's craving for in a relationship.

- i said, what about the text message that you sent to me saying that you love the feeling of how it is to be with me and something like that?
- he said, it was a different thing. We started out as instant friends.
- he said he was looking for the long-talk-beneath-the-stars experience and stuff like that.
- I just said, for me, the time when you accompanied me going to Market Market and when we were like running wet on the street, when we were cooking simple food like sardines because we didn't have money to eat at any fast food anymore, when we shared money come last week before the payday, when we slept together and all, were I think the whirlwind romance that I can cherish and smile with.
- He said, (none)

He's really good in doing that. He loves keeping me hanging and giving me vague answers.

By the way, going back to the people-who-cannot-seem-to-understand part of this rant, somebody told me to STOP BEING SO BLUNT ABOUT MY ESCAPADES ESPECIALLY WHEN IM DRUNK OR SOMETHING. Take note of the drunk.

- I asked, why?
- She said, because the negative effect is on you.
- I asked, what?
- She said, it'll make people the impression that you're bitter.
- I asked when, I'm drunk?
- She said, yes.
- In my mind, weird. But I just said, because I am bitter! Then I asked, why?
- She said, she just heard it. End.

I really hate it when people are giving me very very vague answer. I can accept criticisms or suggestions, but you have make things clear for me before I'll take it. Otherwise, I'll be offended.

I found that above conversation kind of offensive. Hey! In my situation right now? What I need most is not someone who will slap me with how bitter I am. I know! I am bitter! You can't blame me though because over and above, I was hurt. All I need this time is someone who will say 'I understand'.

And just a rebuttal to her point, like who would care if you're drunk? If you are influenced by alcohol, even drunk Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo can just say and do just anything. So she should never tell me what to do when I'm drunk because even her would most likely do that if she's drunk. (And I was right)

Anyways... right now, I can still feel hatred against him. I hate non-sense confrontations. If I would confront him with it, he will just most probably (and this I'm sure about) give me VERY VAGUE STATEMENTS or WORST HE WILL JUST LIE LIKE WHAT HE ALWAYS DO!

So I think I just have to shut up and continue living like before -- I don't care about him... what he'll do, who he's dealing with and the like.

INDIFFERENCE STARTS NOW.

The Basics Of Cash Flow

2008-08-21T23:00:00.000+08:00

This is an email sent by my colleague. I'm posting this to share. I hope this will inspire you as well.

From: Glenda Liz A. Ramos
Sent: Tuesday, July 22, 2008 8:54 AM
Subject: RE: The Basics Of Cash Flow

There are those who e-mailed me asking about the basics of cash flow. I'm really sorry that I assumed everybody already understands it. Anyway, by demand ... here it goes...
May isang bata... joke lang.

The basic is. What pattern do you see if you will get a P100.00 bill and monitor where and how it is transferred from 1 possessor to the other? How does it flow? The pattern for a typical Pinoy is.

You earn from your work, you spend it on food, gadgets, clothing and other basic needs. Before you reach the next payday, paubos na yung pera mo. But that's ok payday is just a few days ahead and it doesn't matter if I run out of money, I am expecting money again any time soon.

This cycle goes on and on and you make some sidelines or create other ways to earn but it seems that money was never enough. (I am tempted to explain further pero usapan... basics lang).

So you can't leave the job that you have because a week without work would affect the cash flow you have to support your family and needs. As much as you wanted to accept another job, the gap would make you pay less for a couple of days, which makes you a slave to your boss.

At least, you have a job to support your needs.

So to illustrate.. ..Cash is flowing inside your pocket.

Years have gone by doing your monotonous routine.

Question... what if you get fired? Or you were forced to retire because there are new and younger people ready to take your place. What would you do?

As an OFW, Makati Executive, Top Salesman, Engineer, Attorney, Teacher, etc... What if it all ends? The sweet cash that enters your pocket every 15 th and 30th suddenly comes to a halt.

There are two things you can buy with your money... An asset and a liability. To describe each... An asset brings money inside your pocket; a liability takes money out of your pocket. Another way to see, it is that an asset if you buy one, will bring the money you spent for it back to you 2 or 3 folds. A liability, when you buy it will not give your money back at all. Sa ilocano... idjay ti kwa... djak maawatan... (joke lang po, seryoso na kayo eh...)

Sa madaling salita... kapag asset, maibabalik ang pera , pag liability, goodbye sa pera...

Ang problema kay JUAN DE LA CRUZ, habang may trabaho ipon ng ipon at bili ng bili ng liability!

I have seen OFWs get back to the country with gold chains at kung pwede lang limang shades ang isuot ng sabay-sabay gagawin nya eh... dvd, component, jackets, clothes, inuman, pulutan, party, pabango... hindi na makalakad sa dami ng bitbit...

At s'yempre mga empleyado natin dito sa bansa na lingo-lingo bago cell phone at mags ng kotse.. hindi na nga magkasya ang damit sa aparador, tapos pag umaga sasabihin... . wala na akong maisuot.

Guys, esep-esep... what you bought... will it bring money back to you? I know what you have in mind... you have to enjoy what you worked hard for. That's right, but think of something that will last.... think of your future.

I have seen the worst of people who were abogado de kampanilya, executive secretaries of top rank business men, people who worked for big companies, earned a fortune and got a big retirement pay by the millions... Now.... Wala na.

Why? Because of their cash flow... went in... went out.

I need not to mention basketball players, actors, singers, etc... Check what is their career path... next after acting, singing and playing... POLITICS. Kasi, 'yung million na kinita nila, puro liability ang binili.

Going back... all the liability they bought, ibinenta ng mura! I'm wearing a gold chain now, which I got from a seaman.... he bought it for P35,000 and sold it for 8,000 to me. Hindi po asset ang alahas! Bakit? Totoo na tumataas ang value n'ya pero kapag gutom ka na, kahit palugi ibebenta mo! (wala bang aaray?) Cell phones... dvd players etc. pati bahay at kotse... that's the cash flow of most OFWs...

The question is ... " WHAT IF THE INCOME STOPS?"

Sa Pinoy, ganito: anak... mag-aral kang maigi, at pag tanda namin... ikaw na bahala sa amin ha.... Hindi po ba maling-mali. .. You have to establish something today that will take care of your future.

Teka, teka... eh ano ang dapat gawin para hindi mangyari yan?

You must create a source of income that will continually make money flow inside your pocket. Start a business! While you are working as an executive or an OFW, or a professional. .. START A BUSINESS and MASTER that business till you get out of that company. Para kapag tumigil ang income mo sa kanila... may susuporta pa din sa iyo hanggang pag-tanda mo!

Now don't tell me to invest my money on pensions and plans... NO WAY ! Narinig n'yo na siguro yung .... Naku ayaw ko na magbanggit.. ... 'yung mga nagbayad at hindi nakapag-claim. .. sila pa ang dinimanda at nag-piyansa! !! HUWAG MO I-ASA ANG PAGTANDA MO SA IBA! GUMAWA KA NG SARILI MONG BALON NG PERA! KAHIT MALIIT PA 'YAN, SARILI MO AT HINDI KA AASA SA IBANG TAO...

Imagine yourself when you reach an older age... (aruy ko,,, baka yung iba sa inyo about that age... tabi tabi po...Ako po sa mga nagtatanong. .. I'm 37 years old. Naabutan ko pa si Michael Jackson at hinele po ako ng nanay ko sa mga kanta ng hagibis...). You have money that the company gave you as your retirement pay... what will you do?

You can consume the money till your old.... eh kung hindi umabot? Masamang damo ka pala... at hindi ka kaagad kinuha ni Lord. Eh pang age 65 lang yung naipon mo na budget.

Or maybe, you can start a business and use the money for capital... Kapatid... 9 out of 10 businesses, FAILED... yung isang magsa-succeed, gagayahin pa ng kapitbahay mo instead na mag-franchise sa 'yo... think! At age 50, you are struggling trying to make a business work! What if it fails?!

Eh ano nga ba ang sagot?

The answer is, stop buying liabilities and instead buy assets now. I don't care if it is a banana-Q store, balot, ice candy or a sari-sari store, etc... start now! Because, your experience here will teach you what to do in the future. It's so hard to struggle in business when you are 60 yrs old.

You have to create a source of income separated from the source of income from your work. That when the time comes that you have to stop working, you will have your own source of money! Create assets, start a business that will be there to support you and your family. I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB! I'm telling you to start a business while you're working and stop spending your money on liabilities and start putting them on assets!

Ang pera kapag pinambili mo ng LIABILITY... hindi na babalik... ang ASSET... BABALIK.

Teka... masama ba bumili ng mga magagandang gamit? Hindi! Siguraduhin mo lang na ang pambili mo nun ay galing sa asset mo. The business has to be prioritized! Mawalan ka man ng trabaho, may negosyo kang palalaguin.
If before, nabubuhay ka naman ng iisa sapatos mo, huwag mo baguhin 'yun... dati, nagdyi-jeep ka lang... 'wag ka na munang mag-FX...

Create assets and lessen liabilities. Invest and learn now... mag-negosyo!

Eh anong negosyo? Any, as long as you think it is work and doable! I am still looking for partners for my HOME MASSAGE SERVICE! SPA MAGIC! And my business CAR MAGIC is still franchising. .. (joke lang ... baka sabihin nyo nag pro-promote lang ako eh...But I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT ALL MY BUSINESSES ARE ORIGINAL AND ALL ARE GRAND ASSETS!

I started all my businesses with a very small capital. If I used that money to buy a gadget, new shoes or any liability... . baka wala lahat ng negosyo ko at wala na akong makain ngayon.

Again, I hope that this BASIC CASH FLOW article helps.... I wish all of us become financially free!

FROM UNKNOWN AUTHOR
PAKIPASA...
MAGANDANG EYE-OPENER 'TO!

Picture Courtesy of:
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/4/43/Php_bill_10_front.jpg

From the Broken Hearted's Inbox

2008-08-21T06:17:00.000+08:00

For some reason, my friends are sending text messages about loving, breaking up and stuff like that. If they feel I'm so into love right now, that I don't know. Anyways, I'm just sharing some of their love text messages to me.

From: Ariene (Higschool Classmate)

Loving is always a learning process. With love, we learn how to care and sacrifice. We learn to be unselfish and give more than what we can. And when everything doesn't end well, we learn how it feels to fall and get hurt. But learning doesn't have to end there. After all, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is what we learn, that life doesn't end where heartaches begin... It's true that there is life in love. But there can still be life even after losing love.

------------------------------

From: Buboy (Friend from Mawab)

The hardest thing in life is when you know inside your heart that you love the person but you run out of reasons to fight for what you feel and believe in.

------------------------------

From: Sienna (Officemate in Link2support)

Intimacy comes with responsibility of commitment. It's a response not to play games with another person's heart. If you are willing for a relationship to progress, be serious and committed rather than being into a pointless relationship (Joshua Harris - Boy meets girl)

------------------------------

From: Betsy (Immediate Superior - Bayantrade)

Love not because you like that person nor because you care. Love not because you know that you can't live without that person. Instead, just love and forget about 'WHY'.

------------------------------

From: Ivy (Highschool Classmate)

Don't hold too long to what's never meant. Sometimes, we need to set things free before it hurts us badly.

About Life and Growing Old

2008-08-21T01:45:00.000+08:00

A friend sent this email to me. I'm sharing this story to share.

From: Que, Genesis M.
Sent: Saturday, July 19, 2008 8:43 AM
Subject: About Life & Growing Old "

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. "

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and she gave me a giant squeeze.

'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked. She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'

'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends.. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.'

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, 'We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.'

She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year' s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it' s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. 'Good friends are like stars....... ..You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.'

Picture Courtesy of:
http://dl4.glitter-graphics.net/pub/859/859054psmo76p91z.jpg

The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

2008-08-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

A friend forwarded this email to me. I am posting this inspiring story to share.

From: Reynalisa D. Loyola
Sent: Wednesday, July 2, 2008 2:41:17 PM
Subject: THE GREATES LOVE STORY EVER TOLD!

I am touched with this story LOVE IS THE ANSWER!

An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world. It is a story of a man and an older worman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over hald a century.

The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years.

Over 50 years ago, Liu Guojiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin.

In a twist of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that xu already had childred. At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality.

In the beginning, life was harsh as they had nothing - no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and LIu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives. Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful?' Liu always replies, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'

In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.

Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6, 000 steps over the years for my mother's convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'

The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away. 'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?' Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.

In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from Chine, collected by the Chinese Women weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.

Rant # 10: Lessons About Love I Can Hardly Accept

2008-08-19T05:42:00.000+08:00

"Pretending to be friends with the one you once loved is like breathing underwater... You can't hold it too long because if you do, you won't make it out alive."- from a text message.

I had my mistake. I kept on insisting what I believed to be right in a relationship. I failed to realize that all of us take things differently.

Kuya Nathan was right. I should've understood that he viewed our relationship differently from what I believed it should be. Kuya Edzel was right as well. I should've just let him do whatever he felt doing since he's still in the process of exploring his possibilities.

They were right.

But I just couldn't easily disregard the fact that I was so hurt. And that no matter what they'll say what I could've done and what I should do, it still hurts me so bad. Things are easier said than done. And right now, i feel a lot of hatred and anger. That I cannot even afford to look at him. Not just because he broke up with me but also because, I saw him cuddling with someone else. In front of me.

In the process of our relationship, I might became selfish in the sense that I just thought about what I thought. Again, I failed to realize that he had his own way of taking our relationship. But it was something I wasn't able to understand. After our drinking session the past night, I came to realize a lot of things.

1. Relationships should never be taken seriously. You should treat it as if it's just a game. You have to learn how to play with it otherwise, you will end up losing. No matter how you know that there is such a thing as a game of love (let's put it that way), if you don't in any way know how to handle it then you will still lose.

2. You should learn to accept the fact that homo relationships are polygamous in nature. Partners will always be looking for someone else who they think can satisfy their needs. You just have to be ready for the possibility that your partner might be able to find someone who's better than you. Otherwise, you will be left alone, lonely and you cannot even rant about it because they will tell you... that's how it goes. Period.

3. Patience is always a virtue. No matter how your partner will tell you how much he's into someone, you just have to be patient enough in keeping in mind that you're the legal one. And the other is just a fling? Or the other is just nothing? They might have some intimate moments together that might in the long run lead to another relationship, you just have to be patient again in thinking that what he has with the other is just nothing and that you are his partner - at this point of time.

4. Exploring is a normal thing. Like I did it when I was young. Younger partners tend to do that.

The bottom line is this... HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE USELESS... NONSENSE!!! I understand that there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. But ours is terrible. NO security whatsoever. Or perhaps there is in some point but I think I just have not found someone who I share the same idea with what a relationship should be. Sometimes, having like a partner requires the same level of thinking. Otherwise, things will not work out the way you want it to be. You will end up crying and being hurt and being not the person that you should be. We have our own share of imperfection, opinion and take regarding relationship.

I don't know if this can be the right conclusion. But let me quote Kuya Edsel on this, Just pray for someone to come along. If you've found someone, don't easily give in. It's a gradual process. Don't take things too seriously. Just be cool. Just be who you are. Don't be too pressured of what's, how's and why's. Just let things be. Just let things be.

(Listening to Vanessa William's Save the Best for Last while writing this)

Picture courtesy of: http://images.google.com.ph/imgres?imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com

My Profile No. 1

2008-08-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

My G4M Profile...

I actually love to do a lot of things.

I want to travel. I want to meet a lot of people, gain friends, experience new and weird things and learn something out from it.

I dont really know how to sing and dance but I love doing them. People may not appreciate me if I'm gonna do it but they are not my business. Singing and dancing just relieve my stresses and that's the most important thing to me.

I always want to be a lawyer, doctor, actor, teacher, a dj, nurse, pilot, scientist and what else? Yeah... I remembered myself wanting to become a vendor in a public market as well, even janitor, security guard and the like.

I want to be with somebody. Somebody who can understand my shortcomings, who can spend some boring moments with me, reply to all my text messages and eat with me when Im hungry. Im looking for a lover, a friend that I can call, a brother, dad and someone like that.

I hate complications. I just simply live my life.

There are a lot of things that I wanna do. But unfortunately I can only be just one, I can do only one thing and I can only be with one someone that I can live with for the rest of my life.

Rant # 9: Silence (Week 1)

2008-08-16T06:00:00.000+08:00

So I decided not to talk with him anymore. He told me he needs some space so I'm giving it to him. I chose this just so that both of us could move on. This is just my way.

I never have an ex-boyfriend who became a friend after we broke up. For me, it doesn't make any sense. Why the hell should you be friends if you were badly hurt? That's not only nonsense. That's stupid. You're just fooling around with yourselves. I am not saying though that there can never be a chance for friendship. There will always be a chance. It's just that, the friendship will never be the same again. Or it might take a very very long while for the friendship to revive.

Right now, I honestly have a hard time with everything. This was never been the case in my break ups before. Perhaps because, I was never living in with my ex-hookups unlike now that we live in just a roof, we work in just a company in just a shift. Too bad.

I want to talk with him but I just can't afford. Thinking about what he did to me definitely prevents me from talking with him. I became so pathetic and he did not even bother to care about it. It's something that I cannot accept and forgive at this point of time. It's really sad.

So, the least that I can do is sigh and live as if he doesn't exist at all and as if I'm not hurt not to talk with him and thinking about how I still miss him knowing the fact that he so hurt me.

I just got this text message from a friend and I think this clearly reflects how I feel recently:

"Just when you've moved on thought you've finally gone far enough, something brings you to a touchstone. And that's when you've realized that LOVE HAS A HABIT OF COMING BACK EVENTHOUGH YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO FORGET THE PERSON YOU REALLY LOVE. Time will still be haunting you because THE MORE YOU HIDE YOUR FEELINGS, THE WORST PAIN YOU'LL GAIN."

(Writing this while listening to Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You)

Rant # 8: My Cute Little Sister

2008-08-12T19:48:00.000+08:00

We call her Pingping.

Born on December 25, 1999, she graduated Valedictorian when she was in Kindergarten. And she has been strong being able to maintain her academic status amidst the fact that she's not able to get all what she wants unlike her other classmates.

At a young age, she has been exposed to the fact that life is not easy at all. She already understands that things have to be worked hard for before we can even get it. She saves money just for her to have something to spend during the city's festival. She always saves if she wants to buy something. Right now, it turns out that she has the biggest amount of savings among us siblings. I still actually owe her Php 500.00 and she doesn't even care asking me to have it paid or at least she's not telling me that I should pay her for that.

She loves watching movie especially Harry Potter that she now speaks in English with the British Accent. She has memorized all the characters on the movie and their lines as well. She wants to converse about Harry Potter with my mom but Mom seems to be not so interested about it so she talks about it with us (her siblings).

She's been my mom's companion since all three of us left home for college. Mom would've been the loneliest mom in the world if not because of her. She's making mom smile in our absence and amidst hardship. They've been partners. She knows our family business' work arounds very well than us.

Like me, she loves to deal with people. She even tried to enter school politics which she made to win when she was in Grade 1. She failed though during her 2nd Grade when a politician's child ran against her. Unfortunately, we didn't have the kind of influence like that of the Politician nor my mom had enough resources to spend for Pingping's campaign. It doesn't really matter, we thought. She can still practice her leadership skill even when she didn't make to the school politics. The most important thing for us is she's able to study and excel in her academics.

We taught her how to collect stickers, stationaries and stuff but so far, she's not able to collect because she's using them. We told her that we (me and my younger sister) used to collect stuff when we were at her age and she can do that as well as her hobby.

My dad gave her a phone. The phone was better than my older brother and younger sister and even mom's phone. They tried to borrow it but she declined because she said, 'it's hers' and I think she has a point. I can still remember her first text message to me. She said 'Ang ganda talaga ng bohol' (How beautiful Bohol is). I laughed because I just can't imagine it was our youngest sister who was texting me. It was her second time to go to Bohol after about 7 years since she she was still a year old when she first went there with us. And after 7 years as well, she was able to see daddy again.

She's a happy child. She makes us happy and motivated to do more for our family. My mom, younger sister, and pingping's courage, determination and strength actually motivate me and inspire me so much.

We love her so much. She's indeed the family's angel. We always wish the best of her.

Rant # 7: Does God Exist? (From Addu's Forum)

2008-08-12T05:43:00.000+08:00

The mere fact that everything's moving or the mere fact that there's life just means that God really exists. I think it has been already cleared out in almost all of our religion subjects. It might be called Allah or whatever... it's the same Person or same SOMEONE that we're worshiping with -- IT'S THE FORCE THAT MADE EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NOT ONLY HERE ON EARTH BUT IN THE WHOLE OF THE UNIVERSE IN GENERAL.

Atheists might have misunderstood the concept of God that's why they have the hardest time believing in his existence. Roman Catholic seemed to give God a picture of a Human being which Atheists cannot in any way accept. Because for them, a human being cannot be considered as God. God is neither a mythical creature or a Human Being. It has been pictured out that way just for Humans to satisfy their imagination as to who or what made everything here on earth possible. But even if he's pictured out like that doesn't mean that he's already a part of human's imagination. The picture might be just an imagination but the concept of God is not since THERE IS REALLY A FORCE THAT MAKES US LIVE.

Just for me to prove my point, WHY WON'T YOU EXPLAIN THE REASON WHY WE HAVE A HEART THAT BEATS... WHAT MAKES IT BEATING... WHY OUR BODY IS DESIGNED THIS WAY... WHY DO WE HAVE TO DRINK... WHAT MAKES US DO ALL THESE THINGS? If you can answer that concretely and if you can answer that without someone having to answer that with another WHAT'S AND WHY'S then you can be right in saying that GOD DOESNT EXIST AT ALL.

THERE'S A FORCE -- YOU CAN CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANNA CALL IT... BUT IT IS WHAT WE USUALLY CALL GOD!

Picture Courtesy of: http://www.christ4u.net/images/uploads/hand_of_god.JPG

Rant # 6: Should Amoebas Be Given Rights As well?

2008-08-12T03:19:00.000+08:00

You might be thinking about giving rights for the actual amoeba. Forgive me for using this topic as a title but (I got it in our debate bible) I am just reminded of my debate life way back in college. I just can't believe how fun debating really is. You can just talk about anything and everything under the sun. Anyway, you might think of it as something nonsense or stupid but it's not. The topic actually is not about giving rights to actual amoeba but to some entities who act like amoeba killing a life. It depends on the the one who sets the debate. Amoeba can be those business people, politicians, crazy people, beggars and stuff like that.

This time, by amoeba I mean:

1. You're brother who always steals your money for his reason (I just hate my brother for this. He can actually save for his own. We share the same amount of weekly allowance so why does he have to steal. He's doing something and he's doing it against me. I shouldn't have starved in a part of my life if he just did not steal my money. Got it? See, I have my own needs and wants as well that I have satisfy!)
2. Your ex who told you 'I need space' when you actually gave him a lot of space and time for himself when you were together.
3. Your ex who told 'I need to find myself more' when he's not really lost to begin with.
4. And your ex who told you 'I want to be back to my old self' as if you totally changed him and as if blaming you for not anymore the person that he was before when you did not even do anything to let him be that way.
5. And your ex who uses all those lines just to get rid of your relationship so that he can be with someone else.
6. Those who makes use of stealing to earn a living.
7. Your neighbors who can't do anything with their life than talk about how miserable your life is without even looking at how worst their's is.
8. Your friend who told you how bad a person you are without even clarifying why (which makes you think being talked behind which I think is offensive)

And among others... (you can add up as many people as youw want)

They are people as well. True. They ought to be respected. Not really. I think they should be given a little less amount of respect as they do not give you that as well. I still stick to the law of survival stating that, an eye for an eye... a tooth for a tooth. Though God encourages us to be forgiving and understanding especially to people who seem to be unaware of what they're doing, we have to admit... We are human beings as well with limitations and with emotions which have to be expressed and respected.

I know there are a lot of rebuttals against this. I may sound bitter (that's true). All of you may not agree. But I think I also have a point. :)

Right now, here's my take on those people: They exist. And no matter how I rant about them, they will still live and they will do whatever it is that they feel doing. Unfortunately, they co-exist with the so called good. So there's no way that they will be taken out from the picture of our lives. But they should not be living! They should not be given any rights in life whatsoever. But... They do. This is the least that I can do against them. Think like THEY ARE NOT LIVING ANYMORE!

RANT # 5: THE PAINS OF LOVING

2008-08-02T05:59:00.000+08:00

THIS IS FROM A YM CONVERSATION (I think it reflects how much painful love is.)

LOVER 1: Love you.

LOVER 2: :)

LOVE3 1: AAARRRGGHHH.... Nag emoticon ra ka.

LOVER 1: HMPF!

LOVE 2: :)

LOVER 1: Makahurt.

LOVER 1: HMP...

LOVER 1: Sige lang... I don't know when you're gonna say that to me again... Pero I'll wait. Cant force you this time if you dont really feel like saying that. That's good though. I rather want someone to keep his silence than say something he doesnt really mean. Basta Lover 2 ha... Just let me know if you're already falling out. I may not know how to take it or if i can really take it but... Just let me know so that i know exactly what to do next... Wala lang... Naga drama lang.

LOVER 2: Aw..Sige

LOVER 1: I can feel na you're comfortable being with others than being with me... And you're easily get irritated. I dont know kung part lang ni sa akong paranoia or you really intend to let me feel that way for your reasons... Or lahi lahi lang gyud tag interest. I really dont know. As much as I can, I really wanna act normally with you, as normal as we were before. But things are really different now. We're not the usual friends anymore. That's why I cant act normal na.

LOVER 2: Ayaw pag drama wui

LOVER 1: Yeah... Sorry ha... Kung naga drama ku... Wala lang. gusto lang naku siya event out maski through ym... Coz i know i will never have a chance to say this personally. Wala lang... Basta. Just let me know. Dili pud ko gusto mag assume.

LOVER 1: Good morning diay...

*END*

Picture Courtesy of:

http://www.hat.net/album/north_america/canada/british_columbia/vancouver/20040103_barrack_beach/01030037_lovers_in_sunset.jpg

RANT # 4: ON NICOLE

2008-08-01T21:50:00.000+08:00

Just had a debate against a fellow student about what happened on Nicole’s rape case. I was the pro-Nicole and he was the pro-American Soldiers. The debate really caused me to shake in anger as I had been so passionate about this issue.

It’s really so appalling to realize that a rape victim, amidst all the evidences there are, has to prove first his/her innocence before the court and the people. What is more appalling is that a Filipino leans ones side to the oppressors who are unfortunately aliens of this country and obviously are guilty of a crime even putting all the blame to the oppressed which in this case is Nicole.

He said that it was all Nicole’s fault simply because she put herself into that situation by simply going to the bar. If she should’ve stayed home, nothing might have happened to her.

I really found this argument very funny. We are entitled to be happy, to experience going to bars and the like. A lot of girls actually are going to bars and be with the guys they happen to meet there without even being raped and treated like that of Nicole. Nicole to begin with, didn’t expect that such will happen to her. Who would’ve thought of an honored American soldier to do such a thing especially to her? Not me either.

Another thing that he told was, Nicole might love the idea of her being fucked by Smith and other American soldiers.

That is possible. But I don’t think she loves the idea of being left naked and unconscious on the road after being fucked. Even if let’s say, the activity was done with consent at first, we cannot forgive the kind of treatment Smith and company gave to Nicole after. A normal person cannot do that even. Just perverts can.

And lastly, even prostitutes can be raped if Nicole really was a prostitute.

This is not just an issue of Nicole’s rape case but also an issue of national security and national independence. The VFA with the Americans is not doing anything good for our country already. We couldn’t anymore see the point of asking for military help from the Americans because we are not anymore in the battle against a country. This just aggravates the whole peace and order situation in our country especially that a lot of anti-America terrorists are hitting on us because we have this tie with the American government.

What we need is actually political will to heal all the wounds we got from the colonization of our country and move on to a better, united and politically, socially, culturally, and even economically developed country. Not the American’s military assistance.

Nicole is but a victim. My pro-American opponent is also a victim of American-orientation. It’s good that at least, for the first time, an AMERICAN RAPIST has been convicted. I just hope all of these will finally come to an end. There will be no more Nicole anymore. The only way of doing it I guess is, scrap the root cause… scrap VFA.

Picture Courtesy of: http://www.bulatlat.com/images/6-32/nicole-subic-rape-(AP).jpg

RANT # 3: TRAFFIC-CAUSING DEVICES INSTALLED

2008-08-01T20:24:00.000+08:00

Instead of helping out ceasing traffic conditions, the newly installed traffic lights in its place are aggravating the whole situation.

This has been the blurbs of most drivers, commuters and even those who have with them private vehicles. Though it’s somehow good that the city government puts an effort in taking traffic situations in order but the fact that they cause so much delay definitely defeats its purpose.

As noticed, even if there are anymore no vehicles in an intersection the traffic light still signals “red” on the one. The vehicle at the other intersection could’ve just gone ahead than wait for the light to turn “green” because there are no vehicles crossing on the other.

Perhaps, taking the lighter side of it, the Davaoenos are not just used to it as the traffic lights were gone for years. And what happened then was like a “patentero” where vehicles and pedestrians alike were mostly competing as to who would go first in the intersection and in a worse case scenario, there was a traffic enforcer facilitating the traffic. This was much easier because for one, you can just find some ways in getting rid of being stuck and two, the traffic enforcers could see the necessity to stop the flow of the other intersection and signal “go” to the other.

But the problem with that is it is actually prone to a lot of street accidents – pedestrians and vhicles bumping and etcetera etcetera.

That’s the beauty of having the traffic light. There is a right time for everything – for the pedestrians and vehicles to cross. You need not compete as to who will go first the intersection, pedestrians will not also do the “patentero” stuff in crossing.

It might cause us a lot of time traveling from one point to the other but it puts us away from a lot of street accidents. Which is better by the way?

Picture courtesy of: http://www.davaotraveler.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/push-button.jpg

RANT # 2: FACES OF FILIPINO RESILIENCE

2008-08-01T20:10:00.000+08:00

Geloy and Nor have found their place next to home. It’s not in school where they should be educated, not even in church or in a normal workplace or office. Both in their 20’s, they’ve been comfortable shouting, talking with their colleagues, walking and running along the side streets.

With dilapidated pair of shoes or slippers, torn clothes, grilled skin, dried hair and stinks, being soaked under the heat of the sun or chilliness of the rain and smoke will never matter. As long as they’re given five to ten pesos per jeep for a fee, that will do. As for Geloy, “I’ve seen the dire need of helping my family. I am only a highschool graduate so you can’t expect me to be employed in good businesses. After all, some of my friends are here too.”

Both of them are ‘dispatchers’ or as they are called by some, ‘jeepney barkers.’ Their ‘career’ is to prey on passengers to jeepney drivers. Here, they need not acquire a college degree. All they have are courage to face people and convince them to have a ride on the jeep, voice to instruct passengers as to where they should take their ride and guts to ask for a ‘pocket terminal’ or the sort of service fee to the drivers.

It was Friday, around 6:00 o’clock in the evening. In front of SM city in Ecoland, where jeepneys usually stop for 10 minutes or more to wait for passengers, there were Geloy and Nor together with some other dispatchers. They were busy picking on passengers. It was a peak-hour – passengers rushed on their way home, a bumper-to-bumper scenario of traffic, etc. Geloy was busy ‘escorting’ prospect passengers crossing the streets towards the jeepneys. Nor, on the other hand, was standing in front of the entrance of the jeep shouting for the route and asking one passengers and the others as to where they were heading.

Both of them have other jobs though. For Geloy, he sometimes borrows his neighbors motorcycle to have it served as public utility vehicle. Nor has his plumbing. With three mouths to feed, Nor has to really find a way to cope with their daily expenses.

One day, as he was walking along the street of Ecoland a year ago, he saw some people dispatching which gave him the idea of entering into such too. As he put it, “My oldest child is still three years old and my youngest is still three months old. With only a highschool diploma at hand, dispatching is the easiest job to be in. So, I don’t care.”Nor however doesn’t want to be stocked in this lifestyle especially that he has dreams for his children. But for the meantime, as long as plumbing is not yet s stable, and as long as job opportunity is concerned, he will still be dispatching for the sake of additional income. While for Geloy, “Studying? That would be very impossible considering that we are so broke. I’m gaining so that’s ok for me.”

This reflects that fact the a lot of people are not given proper employment and social welfare program. It can be noted that In 2005, according to www.cia.gov, unemployment rate in the Philippines reached to about 12.2% with 40% total population below poverty line. With a high annual population growth, unequal distribution of resources, higher oil prices, inflations, and political turmoil, as www.cia.gov, has commented, “It will take a higher, sustained growth path to make appreciable progress in the alleviation of poverty.” That’s the mere reason why many people are trying to be resourceful, earning for a living in whatever ways that they can think ok.

On dispatching, the city government of Davao arrested some of the dispatchers before on the ground of violation against the Anti-Barking Ordinance. But, as stipulated in the ordinance, only those barkers who were using sound system such as megaphones would be penalized. So, they freed those dispatchers.

However, the city council has proposed and deliberated over the Anti-Dispatching Ordinance. This ordinance has not yet been approved. If ever, this can be the best weapon so that dispatchers will be penalized for their undue practices, if there is any. This threatens not only Gely and Nor but also their colleagues.

But they are not just dispatchers.

They are not just eye-sores or public disturbs.

“We are also of great help especially to those people who need to find their right route. We’re also helping elders and those who have lots of baggage, cross the streets,” Geloy proudly said. But more than that, “We are at the same time helping commuters who are victims of snatching. In fact, we have caught a couple of snatchers already,” Nor stressed.

In the end, they both concluded and agreed: Dispatching is better as compared with snatching or stealing. At least, they’re not only helping their families but also helping others in terms of street matters.

If there’s one thing very common to both of them, that would be their ‘smile’ amidst the fact that they are far less than the others economically speaking. This signifies their happy acceptance of where they are and hope that someday they’ll be able to have their lives be uplifted.

While others are into making money out from internal organs of pigs or chicken, habal-habal, ukay-ukay, or any other sidelines, these people like Geloy and Nor are making use of their voice, strength and convince power in the streets through the jeepneys and passengers to be able to gain an income. That is indeed, only in the Philippines. “We have to be wise and tough enough for us to live. Dispatching violates nothing and we see it as a job that will provide us somehow with the things we need everyday,” both of them happily ended.

This case just shows one thing: FILIPINO RESILIENCE.

RANT # 1: WHY DO WE HAVE TO LIE IF WE CAN SAY THE TRUTH

2008-08-01T01:59:00.000+08:00

A conversation over Yahoo Messenger on 6:14 AM 7/18/2008.

BLUE: Pink, wherever you are in this world, there will always be lies lurking in your shadows. Lie co exists with truth. There can be no truth without lie. So you will have to accept the fact that you will encounter lies in some of your undertakings.

PINK: Yeah. You're right. There will always be lies. And that makes life a little bit sad. And yes... I have to learn to accept the fact that it really exists and there's nothing that I can do about it. I can even do that myself. However, it's just sad if you realize that you've been a victim of so much lies in the world.

BLUE: No. What is actually sad is that you "consider" yourself as a victim. It reflects your way of thinking. Why not consider yourself as a receiver of experience and use these experiences as a tool that you can use in the future? If you have been a victim of so much lies in the world, did you ever really learn anything from them? It's sad to hear that you are constantly being harassed by lies. It shows that you never took a step forward at all.

PINK: The way you talk about it seems like you've already learned so much in life. That's great though. All the while I thought that I've already mastered the ART OF EVERYTHING IN LIFE. However, I still can say that I haven't learned so much yet coz I am still hurt so bad whenever I realize that things don't go for my favor. I think all people already know that it exists but we cannot really deny the fact it badly hurts and the least that we can do is RANT ABOUT IT.

BLUE: Come on. No one can master the art of life. If someone can, I would pity that person since s/he won't have anything to learn anymore. RANTING about your problems is actually not the least that you can do. It's what you prefer to do which I feel really sorry to hear from a cum laude. there are many ways and choices in life. The problem is, you chose the one you fear less...

My point of refuting all ur arguments is that I just simply want for you to change your status because it degrades my perception of you. You have so much in you that you have not grasped because u are blinded by darkness. Try to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

PINK: HMMM... YEAH. Alright. So what would you do then if you realized that all the while someone tells you just a lie and you're already so attached with him/her to the point of doing some things that you cannot anymore take back. Moving on is another option but what we usually do on that situation is just simply rant as we cannot anymore turn back back the time and correct whatever we did in the past. THANKS FOR ENLIGHTENING ME THOUGH... IT REALLY HELPS A LOT SINCE AS OF THIS TIME, I ALREADY HAVE THIS HARD TIME BELIEVING TO WHATEVER IS SAID AND SHOWN TO ME BY A PERSON.

I cannot anymore distinguish what is true and not... My point here is this, we can actually tell the truth. Even just a little truth... Why do we have to lie? Why do we have to tell someone that we love him/her if you do not really love that person to begin with? It'll just make things very complicated and chaotic. It should've been not like that if one was just honest enough not say that word at all.

BLUE: What you cannot correct in the past, you can make up for it in the future. I am so disappointed in you. I am thinking there is one person who tries to pull you down, and now you give up so easily. There is no point in helping you.

You are too much darkened from all the lust and greed that surrounds you. I had hoped for a better you after a year out of school. ACCEPTANCE is the KEY. That is all you need. Acceptance and the courage to move forward and love again. When you love again, there will be new obstacles that you will have to face. They will be new to you and you will have to embrace them again. That is the way of life that no one can master.

PINK: GOT YOUR POINT. I'm sorry if i disappointed you. However, I think I'm not the person that you know. I'm so weak and can easily be fooled. I thought as well that I was strong enough to face everything given that I've been able to surpass the challenges that i had before. But i was wrong. I should learn to ACCEPT AND ACCEPT THAT no matter how I rant about things... No matter how i rant about lies, deception and all those stuff... They will still come my way. And you're right. There are a lot of things that i can do to cope with them. I HAVE TO ADMIT... Mastering the art of life i think is mastering the fact that no one CAN LIVE IT PERFECTLY.

BLUE: Mastering the art of life i think is mastering the fact that no one CAN LIVE IT PERFECTLY... That is a perfect statement.

*end of conversation